F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Yes, my D has found her way back to the rabbit hole.

Combination probably of meds - Wellbutrin takes away her appetite but works kinda for depression. Vegetarianism - I know. Turning 18 - "I have my own money and I'll pay for college or take a Gap year.  And, I don't have to tell you what's going on with me medically because I won't give permission." Denies it, but is lying about food, not eating lunch at school (still a senior). Eats at home because I'm on her, but I have to really be on her.

I've reached out to DBT individual and her dietician. So, the journey continues. Don't worry - I'm up for it. Just not sure how exactly it will go. My poor younger D - her teen years are so affected by our worry about her older sister, and that makes me so mad.

So families with minors... heed our situation. That's why so many families on here advise to be brutal in going after the ED. Hard to do, no doubt, but absolutely vital advice.

I don't mean to be a gloomsayer -lots and lots of families have great success stories. We will too eventually. But, it's to maybe spark realization that there's no negotiating with an ED when you have the power to stomp it out in a minor. Don't wait.
19 yo D. AN - since about 15 years old. WR quickly - but the last four years have been tough. Since Sept. 2017, two residential stays, now in IOP, fighting a relapse. ED is hanging on, mental state not great, can't get her to remain at a weight long enough or high enough to see mental healing. She's on a gap year that will likely now turn into two.
I'm sorry she has made her way back to the rabbit hole, but you do sound like you've got this.  :-)  And, your advice is very sound.  My daughter started this journey when she was 13, and I *thought* that seemed like a long time.  But, it has gone by very quickly, and we are now 10 months from turning 18.  OMG.  Scary.  My D is doing great for now, but I know relapse could happen.  Pushing hard is excellent advice.

D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
[frown]  I guess you know why she wouldn't sign now.  I'm so sorry.  Maybe time to keep meet her for lunch.  It is so hard when they reach that age.  You go from being a vital person on the team so side lined.  It sucks not to put too fine an edge on it.
Hi HateED,
   -lots and lots of families have great success stories. We will too eventually.
Your attitude makes all the difference. Your D will be fine, just hang in there and do what you need to do. You are the best! Don't ever forget!! XO


Sending hugs your way

"Lineage, personality and environment may shape you, but they do not define your full potential."    Mollie Marti  


15 yr old d diagnosed with AN late December 2015 at the age of 12 after a 23 lb weight loss during prior 3 months. Started FBT/Maudsley at home on Christmas Eve with support from amazing local nutritionist specializing in ED and trained in FBT. WR Feb 2016 and pushing our way through puberty and rapid growth.
Ugh. I'm sorry. She is lucky to have you.

Sometimes I feel like people have the impression that my h and I pushed my D " too hard" or " too fast" . We definitely did things pretty hardcore with fear foods and supervision and stopping exercise etc. But it worked. And if I had it to do over again I would not change a thing other than to throw out the stupid pressure for independent eating. I would have just eaten lunch with her daily until through puberty. We have 1.5 years to 18. Doing all we can to get her to complete independence. Using teachable moments to remind her that her ED is a dormant illness right now. Thank you for your words. I so get it.
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
Sending you love and support. What you do for her means the world and you will succeed.