F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Lexi123
Hi all,

my d has always been on the smaller side since infancy, and was also one of the smallest ones in her class. She’s around 5 feet 1 inch and her pediatrician a few years back told us that she would be happy for her to be 100 and would consider that WR. Whenever she’s hit that weight, her thoughts have not really improved and she still is engaging in behaviors. My thought was even if historically she has been on the smaller side, she’s an adult now and 100 is not enough weight for an adult. I know that adding weight increases brain healing and was wondering what you all think. I know you can’t tell me what a WR weight might be, but am curious if anyone else has any experiences with this? I’ve seen some posts about medical professionals setting WR weights too low...
edited to add that she’s currently in the low 90s for weight. 
D is 23 with restrictive anorexia since age 13. Purging tendencies shortly there after. Currently underweight and struggling with restricting as well as purging. 
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Torie
There is no harm in an "extra" five or ten pounds, and often a tremendous amount of help.  I think it's a good bet that she needs more weight. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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ValentinaGermania
Lexi123 wrote:
My thought was even if historically she has been on the smaller side, she’s an adult now and 100 is not enough weight for an adult. I know that adding weight increases brain healing and was wondering what you all think. I know you can’t tell me what a WR weight might be, but am curious if anyone else has any experiences with this? I’ve seen some posts about medical professionals setting WR weights too low...
edited to add that she’s currently in the low 90s for weight. 


Your thoughts are perfectly right. Nothing to add. 🙂
We were a family where the professionals have set the target weight too low (only "just not underweight" at age 17) and here it was only 2 kg more that made a huge difference and made brain recovery start. And another 2 kg more that gave her the needed buffer to fight ED out of the house.

You have great instincts, follow them and you will see progress. As Torie said, there is no harm in going up a bit with weight to reach 100% recovery.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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PurpleRain
My D was a tiny baby and toddler, and very lean from 3 to 10 years old, then she filled out during puberty (11-12) and at 13 she had a growth spurt, started eating healthy and had a tummy bug all within a few months and down the rabbit's hole she went. We refed her to her highest percentile and quite some more, two percentiles higher, it made a difference. We are now 6 months after WR+S and her body  is starting to redistribute the weight, she eats the same but is finding her set point only one percentile higher than her historical highest (it was 50% and is now 75%, she was 85% at her highest in refeeding). As torie says there is no harm in some extra kg and it gave us some cushion (she got sick at some point and it was a huge relieve for me to have that cushion) just in case of growth spurt, illness etc.
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Enn
Lexi123,
As an adult who does not live with you I cannot imagine how hard it would be to convince her to gain and listen to you so that she gains. I just remembered this article
  http://eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/research/pub/imaging/doc/2015/Kaye_TBT_AnorexiaNervosa.pdf
 and wondered if it may be something to discuss with her and to explore as a adjunct treatment if there are providers in your area.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Lexi123
Ronson wrote:
There should be growth every year up until 20’s so if 100 was fine a few years ago (and this seems on the low side of healthy) then it’s probably not ok now.  She should have been back on her previous growth curve and then continued to gain.  It also depends as to what age she was when she was told this - before or after puberty.  There might have been a big growth spurt to come ? 


thank you Ronson. This has been consistently been told to me as her WR weight ever since she was around 16, so after puberty for her. She’s only grown an inch since then. 
D is 23 with restrictive anorexia since age 13. Purging tendencies shortly there after. Currently underweight and struggling with restricting as well as purging. 
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Lexi123
Torie wrote:
There is no harm in an "extra" five or ten pounds, and often a tremendous amount of help.  I think it's a good bet that she needs more weight. xx

-Torie


Agreed Torie. Now to get her to believe this will be a task indeed. 
D is 23 with restrictive anorexia since age 13. Purging tendencies shortly there after. Currently underweight and struggling with restricting as well as purging. 
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Lexi123


Your thoughts are perfectly right. Nothing to add. 🙂
We were a family where the professionals have set the target weight too low (only "just not underweight" at age 17) and here it was only 2 kg more that made a huge difference and made brain recovery start. And another 2 kg more that gave her the needed buffer to fight ED out of the house.

You have great instincts, follow them and you will see progress. As Torie said, there is no harm in going up a bit with weight to reach 100% recovery.


Thank you! Why must most medical professionals set a WR weight so low? Especially when it’s shown how brain healing can only begin at a healthier weight. Truly what’s the harm of being at a higher weight?
D is 23 with restrictive anorexia since age 13. Purging tendencies shortly there after. Currently underweight and struggling with restricting as well as purging. 
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Lexi123
PurpleRain wrote:
My D was a tiny baby and toddler, and very lean from 3 to 10 years old, then she filled out during puberty (11-12) and at 13 she had a growth spurt, started eating healthy and had a tummy bug all within a few months and down the rabbit's hole she went. We refed her to her highest percentile and quite some more, two percentiles higher, it made a difference. We are now 6 months after WR+S and her body  is starting to redistribute the weight, she eats the same but is finding her set point only one percentile higher than her historical highest (it was 50% and is now 75%, she was 85% at her highest in refeeding). As torie says there is no harm in some extra kg and it gave us some cushion (she got sick at some point and it was a huge relieve for me to have that cushion) just in case of growth spurt, illness etc.


This is all so familiar. It’s encouraging to me that with more weight and a buffer she can achieve full recovery. Hope your d is doing well. Xo.
D is 23 with restrictive anorexia since age 13. Purging tendencies shortly there after. Currently underweight and struggling with restricting as well as purging. 
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Lexi123
Enn wrote:
Lexi123,
As an adult who does not live with you I cannot imagine how hard it would be to convince her to gain and listen to you so that she gains. I just remembered this article
  http://eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/research/pub/imaging/doc/2015/Kaye_TBT_AnorexiaNervosa.pdf
 and wondered if it may be something to discuss with her and to explore as a adjunct treatment if there are providers in your area.


Wow, thanks for this! Very useful information. You’re right it’s hard to convince her she needs to gain when she doesn’t live with me. In her mind, since she isn’t at her lowest weight, she’s “fine”. Her current doctor won’t tell her what her WR weight would be (she does see someone trained in EDs and they do blind weights so I’m guessing her weight) and she won’t tell me much about her appointments, which is frustrating. I have been encouraging her to come home most weekends to at least get two days of adequate feeding in her, and she is receptive to this.
D is 23 with restrictive anorexia since age 13. Purging tendencies shortly there after. Currently underweight and struggling with restricting as well as purging. 
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MKR
Hi @Lexi123 ,

Good to hear your D is willing to spend weekends at home for a break. It must be hard for her to cope on her own, with thoughts swarming at her.  I hope she soon finds it is a great relief when mum takes care of her meals 😀. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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