F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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debra18

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Reply with quote  #1 
People often see the challenges but I can also see a lot of positive things that came from my daughter's illness. I learned an excellent parenting technique that when I say "it's not a choice", my kids know "it's not a choice." Very useful in terms of discipline and raising kids.
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #2 
Yes, I can see positives, but I would say it took around seven years for me to see them - mostly through to the other side. I have learned a lot about mental illness, more than I ever wanted, and have recognised my own anxieties which I didn't realise were there. I am more empathetic, calmer and able to look at things less black and white. 
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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #3 

debra18,
I wish I could see the positives as well as you can. I tend to see them after the fact. It is only now ,one year after diagnosis, WR plus more, and D doing well, that can I see the gains I made as a person as a whole.
I ,like Foodsupport, know more than I really wanted to know (ie going through the trauma) about mental illness. I now have more understanding and compassion for anyone going through a tough time. I GET IT NOW!  I am more patient(I had to be).

I have learned that there is no "perfect life" , but one that moves in a different direction than you  ever would have thought,that you have NO control, and have to "go with the flow" and that that is really ok. And along the way you pick up skills as they were necessary for the journey. I have learned to be a "strong"parent. 
I appreciate the plain, normal "boring" things in my life. In fact a plain old boring day is really special to me. I do not take that for granted. Even just doing a load of laundry, I am grateful that I have laundry  as it means I have a family who I love dearly. Truly a labour of love. I have been humbled by the experience over that last year. I still suffer from PTSD, and getting help. I have found a new "home"here on FEAST. 
For that I am truly,truly grateful. You all supported me, and helped me and without you all, I could have lost my D. She is here and thriving- so yeah , there are so many positives!![smile]
Thank you!!
XXX


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Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
kazi67

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Reply with quote  #4 
debra18
Interesting topic heading when I first saw that I was like seriously there are no bloody positives with this vile illness
Then my friend sent me this quote
“It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it”
The last 2 weeks have been hell in our household, my d is now in IP getting amazing care from an amazing team I am so blessed, I know we still will have a long journey but have a bit of time to reflect right now
I could let all the lies, let downs, failures of duty of care etc etc etc consume me and make me so angry
I could let this anger consume me an destroy everything in my life
BUT this vile illness has taken enough away from my beautiful d and I WILL NOT let it take away and destroy our family
NO WAY
We are too strong and love will win this battle not hate, anger and frustration
Go take a flying jump AN!!
So I hope the little quote can help others to remember they do have the power within
We really do!

and nicely said scaredmom

Love to all
x

debra18

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Reply with quote  #5 
This quote is very true. Much of this process is our response as parents. If we internalize the stress and anxiety, it makes the child more anxious. When you have a newborn baby and the baby is crying, it makes you become more nervous, and than the crying becomes worse. The only way to calm the crying baby is to put the baby in a safe place and take a break for a few minutes until you are calm. Once you are calm, the baby can become calm.
martican

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Reply with quote  #6 
Thank you for bringing a positive side to this dark illness. I also add that life works in mysterious ways, and I wasn't able to see it in the midst of tornado. I noticed a big change when my mind shifted. I wanted to quit my accounting job for a long time but I didn't know what I would do, I didn't feel I had a purpose. Now, I know I want to completely change the direction, and become an instructor on mental health first aid. And all this "thanks" to anorexia and depression my D suffers from.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #7 
We develop strenght and so much power.
We feel a lot of love.
We learn how to deal with that. We fight battles and are on the way to win that war. Great feeling.
If you can fight AN, you can fight everything that life will bring up to you.
I improved my english.
I found a lot of friends.

Indeed, there are positiv things. We just need to see them.
Tina72



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d off to University now 22 months after diagnose, still doing FBT and relapse prevention 
hopefulbuttired

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Reply with quote  #8 
I have a friend who is a grown-up who used to have anorexia many years ago when she was a teenager, now a healthy wonderful person. My daughter is currently in the hospital and I asked my friend for some words of encouragement. Here's what she said : "TBH, I don't remember much of the day to day fighting with my parents about it, though I know it felt like they were literally ending my life at the time. Reflecting back, all I feel now is deeply sorry for how hard that must have been and how lucky I was to have parents that cared so much. You'll get there."
martican

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Reply with quote  #9 
I heard a beautiful quote and I thought of everyone on this forum instantly:
"You have been assigned this mountain, so you can show others that it can be moved."
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