F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Mamaofgirls

When she was little,

Her language had quite

A simple lexicon:

Mami,

Papi

Agua

Peepee

 

She grew a bit,

And her tongue

Uttered a new language

The language of

Weird

Normal

Stupid

Friend?

 

She grew some more,

And she came across

The ancient language

Of instagram,

With the words of

Fat

Diet

Calorie

Russian twist

 

 

But she kept growing,

And found herself Speaking

Yet another language;

This time it was

Rhythmic gymnastics

Jewish studies

Honors class

Final exam

 

 

And then she stopped growing.

Her life became

Restriction

Exercise

Skinny?

Sad

 

 

Eventually, she shrank.

And to keep her from dying,

She was thrown

Into a new language:

Re-feeding

Bradicardia

Nasogastric tube

Weight restoration

 

 

A message to you:

That is never enough.

People like her need

To learn the language of

Coping

Catharsis

Cognition

Connection

 

 

And now,

She grows again

And finds herself

Amidst a new language.

It is

Family

Volunteering

Writing

Speaking

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ValentinaGermania
So much hope in that for all that are in the dark days. Thank you!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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atdt31_US
I saw this where you posted it on the Facebook page.  I have probably read it twenty times on FB.  I really cannot say enough how much I love every word of it.  Remarkable.   What age was her diagnosis, just out of curiosity.  
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth.  UPDATE:  July 2019 diagnosed with PANS. Dr. said likely started first PANS episode at less than 1 or 2 years of age.  On long-term daily prophylactic antibiotics. BMI now about 16 after period of intense refeeding prior to PANS dx,  followed by stagnation as we sort out what is next. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
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Torie
Yes, that is an amazing poem.  And an amazing d, I am sure. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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PurpleRain
Love it, thanks for posting it
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Enn
Eloquent, gifted, articulate, insightful!!
❤️❤️
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Mamaofgirls
My daughter was diagnosed at 15. She struggled with self esteem and body image since 11. The last two years she was admitted to the hospital over 8 times. She was in inpatient, residential, PHP multiple times as well.  Denver ERC was of enormous help in jump starting her recovery. Now she is eating anything if supervised. WR since July and doing much better. Now navigating how to get her to start eating independently. 
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deenl
Thanks for sharing your daughter's lovely poem. It is so touching that she has given us insight into her journey and her development as a person. And oh so elequently. I wish her continued growth and self discovery and joy in her own special self.

Warm wishes,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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bluerain
This brought me to tears. Your daughter has much to give the world <3
We can do hard things well...
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