F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

Our daughter's period has returned.  I stayed neutral when she told me although inside I am happy as I know it is a positive step forward.  She asked if 'all of this'  (i.e. feeding etc) will stop now or are we going to make her fatter.   I told her that we had to follow the directions of the doctor and for all we know after this it could be irregular and it might not return again in a months time.   Today is definitely a kid gloves day where lots of distraction and calmness will be required!  However......so pleased!
That’s so great! Keep feeding it is working!! 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Thats great sign of returning physical health.
Just be really careful about what the doctor might say. Our progress stalled with return of period as dr told D no more weight needed. If it were me again, i would make absolutely sure before any appt with D that we were working towards shared goals. 
We are having a week in contact by phone followed by a week face to face and it is the phone call this week so we can have a chat about it.  However, we both know she is still low weight so I think the Dr will encourage us to carry on - that seems to have been the message so far.
Thanks for this great news!  Onward and upward!  xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Fantastic. So happy for you and your D. She will no doubt be feeling mixed emotions about this. It’s a great sign 😊

Hi Joanne34,

What a nice mothers day gift! That is wonderful.

She asked if 'all of this'  (i.e. feeding etc) will stop now or are we going to make her fatter.

Although her period returning is surely a good sign that things are moving in the right direction, it is important to remember that many people with AN get their periods even though they are not yet weight restored. And then there are some who don't get their periods back until well after they are weight restored. In the DSM5 they took amenorrhea off the list of symptoms one needs to have in order to be diagnosed with Anorexia. 

So it is in no way a marker that she should stop refeeding or gaining weight if she needs to. My d. got her period with bmi's in the 16s and 17s, while she was very mentally unwell. It was in no way a sign that she should stop gaining weight. 

Weighing enough, better moods and being able to eat well are the signs which will be very important. And if she is still asking about whether you are going to make her fatter, she is still unwell and that is the ED talking. And you mention that she is still at a low weight so perhaps she is one of the girls who get their periods at a low weight. But it is much better for her bone development if she is menstruating so great news!.

How close is your d to being restored to a weight which would be on her growth curve? 

Celebrating  this important milestone on the way to recovery with you!



Hi @joanne34,

What great news!

Periods are just the beginning. Put simply, the periods will enable steengthening of the bones - so more weight required.

You must be sooo relieved 😀. Well done, keep up the good work!
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
I just did a little happy dance for you in my kitchen! A positive milestone in your marathon! Well done so far! Keep going! Sending love and strength ❤️
It is such great news to hear this has happened. One more step up the ladder which can seem endless on the way to recovery. You can do your happy dance with us. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Hi joanne34,

That is great news and a big step on the recovery path.  If she talks about making her fat, I would be tempted to say - it is not a question of making you fat, it is a question of ensuring you keep growing.  Or something like that.  Others would say nothing, we all have to find our own responses.  But it is always worth reminding her that brains and bodies keep on growing and developing into the mid twenties so weight will need to go up for a while to come yet.
But definitely worth a big celebration in the meantime! Well done!
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
Thanks everyone.  I know we still have a long way to go as she still very much in the clutches of the ED and her mindset remains steadfast that she doesn't want to change.   However, it is reassuring that physiologically her body is on the mend.   I noticed last night her toes weren't black either, even though her feet were cold and it was a bit chilly in the house.  No doubt we have more 'downs' to come but I'm so pleased with this step forward and it does give us the motivation to keep going. 
Fantastic news, congratulations! Just keep feeding!
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding