F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

keepsmiling Show full post »
Hi keep smiling,I often ask myself the same question why do they wait for theses kids to deteriorate so much before admission. When my d was admitted we were waiting for a bed to become available my d was 17 she came home from school and I told her that a bed was available and we were taking her tomorrow. At first she was relieved and was ok about it but then she very quickly said she didn't need to go and would try eat at home etc. We had tried all that still saying she wouldn't and didn't need to go I helped her put some things together in a case. She was tired and exhausted from ed. we woke her the next morning she got up but said that when we would get to the hospital we would realise she didn't need to be there. She didn't want to get out of the car and when we went in she was going from relief to get help to not wanting to be there. She stayed had a difficult few days settling but we knew she needed to be there. It saved her life. We said as her parents we needed to save her life we made this decision for her as difficult as it was . Would this work for you do you think.
Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
Thanks again everyone who has replied, I really appreciate all your advice.  We were told today that they will section D if she doesn't manage 0.5 kilo gains each week over the next few weeks.  She has already said she won't manage that so has packed her bag ready to go and given me a shopping list of things she wants / needs.  She is thinking about going in voluntarily so that it is on her terms but isn't sure yet.  Unfortunately she has also decided that there is no point even trying to gain the necessary weight to prevent going in and has cut right back on her food and drink again, taking in just enough to stop us needing to take her to a&e but also not enough to even maintain her current weight.  It is so horrible here right now, she is withdrawn, scared and really just in limbo, waiting to go but not knowing how long it will take (weeks probably).  We don't know where she will end up, if she is sectioned it will be a long way away but if she went voluntarily it would be closer.  Even that side of not knowing is so hard to bear.  We know she needs this but now that we know it is going to happen I think we all just wish it would be soon as the waiting is so awful and of course she will continue to deteriorate whilst waiting.  I hate EDs!

It is outrageous that your team are looking at the next few weeks and thinking that she is capable of putting on half a kilo a week in this time.

I can only advise to monitor her fluid intake in the next day or two days and take her back to a&e if she is not taking enough fluids.  

Can you get her to your GP so that she can have an ecg at least?  Your d should have no choices about being admitted voluntarily or not - she needs to be taken into hospital right now.

I am enraged on your behalf.  Do not allow your d to dictate any of the terms in which she is taken IP.  Keep monitoring extremely carefully and take her back to a and e tomorrow, with the marsipan statement about how serious her state is.

Her condition is critical.  
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
At the NEDA conference it was discussed that in the US standard of care for ed treatment is usually held to APA guidelines for insurance cos

We know she needs this but now that we know it is going to happen I think we all just wish it would be soon as the waiting is so awful and of course she will continue to deteriorate whilst waiting.  I hate EDs!

All I can say is keep taking her back to A&E while you are waiting if you need to in order to keep her deterioration at a minimum.  She might have given up but she has you and your hope to rely on so keep getting fluids and food into her as you can and using A&E if you can't.  My daughter after a few trips to the ER was admitted to a general unit while waiting on a bed because she did the same as your daughter. It saved her life several times when I simply couldn't get any food or fluid into her at home.  Thank goodness she has you and her family in her corner!!