Hello all. Thanks for reading this. My thoughts are so jumbled right now so I hope this makes sense. Our 14 year old daughter has been recently hospitalised for restrictive eating.
She got her period at age 12. Gained weight , then gained more weight with unhealthy food choices and large portions. At these well visits her Dr would talk with her about making small changes in her diet to slow down weight gain.
About a year ago she started taking celery and apples to school for lunch. Would eat breakfast and then come home and eat a large snack and a good dinner so we weren’t concerned. To us there was no viable large weight loss.
Over the summer from about June to August her body shape reduced and changed dramatically. Her full solid cup bikini top no longer fit her correctly. You could see right down into the cup. We spend a lot of time in the beach. She wouldn’t eat breakfast and would sometimes eat lunch and always dinner but her foods tastes changed from always eating everything to only eating certain foods as others made her feel nauseous. ( her words. She never threw up )
We would talk to her a good deal about nutrition and what her body needs to grow into a healthy adult.
She stared high school in late August.
People noticed her weight loss , friends would comment on it saying she’s anorexic and she would get angry. She went into school not eating breakfast nor lunch.
Would come home and eat 2 apples , some other fruit and maybe some crackers. Then for dinner eat veggies and chicken. But a small amount of chicken.
I took her to the dr under the guise of getting a vaccination. I spoke with him prior and asked for him to address weight loss. She was angry after that visit, but not at me as she didn’t know I had orchestrated the whole thing. I used that to continue to talk about nutrition to her and the deficit she was in. As I was “ on her side “ she listened to me and really tried that evening and the next day was out of school as the appt really shook her and I up. So I suggested a chill day and we did shopping , had a great lunch at Panera Bread and good dinner. but the next day refused breakfast and lunch for school so basically back to square 1.
The Dr refers us to a private ED programme , my husband and I made an appointment and off we went. We met with the founder of the programme and they basically told us to find a FBT.
Went off on my search for one that took our insurance , took new patients under 16 .... ridiculous escapade , so frustrating.
We found a ED therapist who my husband and I have seen 2 times. Basically we have to refeed at home.
We talked to our D , she became angry , denied anything wrong and the same old story continues.
The director of the ED Clinic at our local well respected children’s hospital here called me and said my D case is alarming to her. Her weight loss of 148lbs in Feb 2019 to 107lbs in September 2019 is critical. Heart issues etc. We made appt for outpatient admittance to programme that was October 22nd 2019. We told D that we were going to get her checked out.
During October we tried to be transparent with her about our thoughts but she became super agitated and would run out of the house at night down the road and where we live is dark , cars drive fast , basically dangerous. , lock her bedroom door and scream and yell at us. Really angry and very much out of character.
( She does have an older sister by 2 years and a younger brother in elementary school and we wanted to shield him from as much trauma as we can )
So the inpatient programme was long , she was angry after at us. Her EKG was bad , poor circulation etc.
They talked about 3 meals , mum and dad make and you have to eat and work up to 3 snacks 2 food refusals in 24 hrs then go to emergency room.
My husband and I really were disappointed after this appt as we wanted her to be admitted to their inpatient Hospital programme and voiced our concerns
So we left there , I said ok we are going for lunch to cafe She was extremely angry in car Screaming , kicking , jumped out of car into road and ran into vacant area in city We called police after an hour of trying to coerce her into car and she kept running away
At home unmade her lunch , she refused it threw it everywhere Made her own Same with dinner.
The next morning she woke up late for school ( I had her phone so she had no alarm ) and I said breakfast before school, of which was refusal and she left house in the dark again I called police and asked them to pick up and take to ER They didn’t and bought her home She then locked me out of house , her younger brother inside , ripped curtain off , threw trash everywhere , screaming obscenities at me Her younger brother tacked her , let me in ( he is traumatised from experience) and I got him ready for school all the while being calm I had my plan, which I have wanted for weeks now.
So basically after that fun morning this far, I called the ambulance to our house to pick up D, which is what we have wanted for a while. She is now THANKFULLY at the hospital in their inpatient programme since Wednesday evening
She is compliant with all 3 meals , working up to 2 snacks now.
Her heart rate is low at night , 40’s and her Ortho static rate jumps to about 120’s when she stands up.
Her blood work has a pretty elevated levels of Erithmecite ( elevated ESR) which maybe linked to auto immune , crohns , celiac although she has no symptoms. She’s on bed rest. Super compliant and very sweet with everyone she comes into contact with other than my husband and I. She tells us to leave , she hates us etc etc.
Her medical team are talking about a residential programme for her, due to her jumping out of car, leaving house and being combative towards us. After looking into it I’m really not 100% on board with this method .. bad reviews and not really sure if they are actually what the glossy language makes it out to be.
My D is still at denial stage after 3 days in hospital . She says she doesn’t find it hard to eat what is provided. She says she doesn’t want to be labelled with anything. She is not opening up about her thoughts to anyone on her medical team.
She is typically a very sweet kind girl , who avoids conflict and confrontation. Very empathetic , but also is quite private.
If you’ve read this far , then we thank you. We would appreciate your thoughts and please ask more questions.
Also we are located in Southern New England , USA