F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Everhopeful_12
So here we are January 1st. All good wishes received from friends..hoping 2016 will be better and that D will improve. Lol !! 1st day in, and new plans abandoned by mid-day. Binge continues, demands for food, chocolate to be purchased in order for new plans to start TOMORROW. We refused to indulge her, and of course we suffer. The day has been unpleasant, sad, depressing. And now, with school on hold, and hospital school all set up to start next week, she announces she has no intention of going to the school. She only agreed to it to keep us quiet. I give up. I have gone up and collected all her school books into a bag. I am sick of the threats and manipulation. She can just forget school. It's her life. Take me to jail for not making her go..I need a break from all this anyway, so bring it on...I'll have a cell with a bed and a book. That will suit me just fine and I won't have to deal with this for a while.
How are you doing out there? How is your new year? Better than ours or the same?
Tracey Golden
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Sotired
Hi ever hopeful,
Yup,different year,same belligerent teen.mine gave up on school too,she used to be an excellent student.talks the talk of recovery but is holding on to what I'm pretty sure is a mythical stomachbug(two weeks now).this means she can puke and blame it on 'not being able to keep it down'.she signed on for a baking course that starts in 10 days but I can't see how that will happen as she eats over an entire day what her eight year old brother has for breakfast.(three pieces of toast).stays in her room all day.she has a friend coming for a visit today,I know he will be shocked how thin she is.
Whether it is bulimia or anorexia it feels impossible to get round the legalities of getting our teens treatment.i feel for you.this just sucks.
Sotired42
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Sotired
P.S.no, not jail, a nice warm bed in the pysch ward is my dream...
Sotired42
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lorpat
I just cried a lot today. This is tiring and hard and I'm not sure how to get things from where they are to where they could be.  I too want to give up.

I'm trying to focus on taking care of myself and letting go a little.  I know I have a long road ahead, but if I take two days to stop worrying about her, I may find the stamina to keep going.  I can't be 100% focused on a person that doesn't care about her own life - even as her mother that loves her and wants so desperately for her to get better, be healthy, and want her life to be good.  I need to take breaks or I will fall apart here.

The New Year is a time of hope and happiness - and this disease is anything but that.  I'm sorry you are having a bad day.  Don't let this disease make you do things that make it worse.  Take your breaks, do something kind and healthy and healing for yourself.  Walk away from the drama and pain every so often.

It will be there when you come back.... ha ha.
One day at a time...

daughter diagnosed 8/15 when she was 16,
wr through maudesly method 1/16,
currently in potential first relapse
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Elena
Yep, I got all hopeful that maybe we'd be leaving all our problems behind along with the old year, but New Years Day the ED was already raising its nasty head. Sigh!

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NELLY_UK
New Year's Day here was spent wondering where d was until lunchtime. She came home around 2 rude and stroppy as usual. She won't have eaten. Then she had a meal and purged it all away then she rested before having her safe meal- lettuce and prawns fried with vegetables followed by two granola yoghurts.
Then she slept, then she went off in a mood to her boyfriends. Today She is working so we won't see her and she won't eat. She will be home for the food and to purge and then have her safe meal and so on.
So it's new year same old ed and horrid teen.
Bah humbug.
NELLY D 20 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. ED/Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
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K63
Hi Everheful-12, sorry that it's still hard with your d and I can feel how exhausted you are. Anyplace away from ed is calling a break would be nice. We had a lot going on over christmas other adult children home from abroad and other places in the country we had a few difficult meals and tears and upset siblings. They are tired of it and of all the upset it causes. We were home alone with d on New Year's Eve and she told me she was in low form and told us she was tired of it and wanted to be thin and die of ed . It was heartbreaking to hear . We talked for a while and I told her that we would not let ed kill her we would fight with her against it . A lot of teats were shed . New Year's Day was very positive we are really fighting it but I am scared as I know it will be raging again soon and I know I am exhausted from it and am afraid that some day I will have to give up fighting as she isn't fighting as much as I am against it.wishing you a better 2016 as we continue fighting . Take time away if you can even for a short time to relieve the stress.
Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
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