Just to say hello Scarlett and sorry you have to be here at all. Warmest welcomes and virtual hugs. Well done finding your way here and also skilling up by getting Eva Musby's book. You are already on the right track. I know other parents will be along soon to offer their support. We've all been there, some of us are still there and so you'll find lots of understanding and kindness no matter how strange or weird the questions....come to rant, ask and share the good and bad moments; we are here for you.
You are not the only one to have found the CAMHS less than helpful. But you will learn by trial and error. Feedback not failure is a common mantra here and that is a good one to remember in the depths of re-feeding or when things don't seem to be going right. Please keep that in mind as you discover what works for your daughter by trial and error. You are doing the work of a hero : )
You will be inundated with advice and so I thought I'd just kick off with 2 things that really helped me. However, it is for you to try and see what works best for your d.
1. Take charge early of all food. Present it like it has to be eaten - that there is no discussion/negotiation. Fake confidence: 'I've read this and that and I know what you need'. 3 meals and 3 snacks tend to be a common and good routine. How to get them to actually eat? There are loads of ideas but in general it seems lots of un-blaming persuasion and parental stubbornness has worked for many, like Eva Musby suggests: 'I know it's hard...now take another bite'. For others (like me) the less said the better: 'here's your food, let's watch something on TV.' She refuses? It is common but it is feedback not failure so try not to take it to heart. You are involved in the most loving, life-saving work and so you will learn to tweak, change but not back down. Come here for support, understanding and ideas.
2. Extra weight on as soon as possible helps the process of recovery so many of us found serving calorie dense food with a small footprint helpful. That may mean smoothies as an example. CAMHS are generally against adding stuff in to boost calories 'secretly' but for many of us here, including me, that has been 100% necessary at the beginning and a real life-saver. There are many ideas on this forum for creating high calorie snacks and meals.
Treat yourself as kindly as you can and ask for support. Xx