F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Hello! I am new here. My 11 yr old daughter has AN with restrictive type and anxiety. She lost 21 lbs in about two months. She splits time between our house and her fathers house. It has been a nightmare that we can’t seem to get out of. With the ED she has become a completely different child-lying, moody, lethargic etc. Took her to the Drs several times and they were not much help even though her labs were bad and heart rate was low. Finally got to the point where she would not eat anything, had to call the police to get her into the car to take her to Children’s Hospital in DC where they said she was in grave danger, admitted her immediately and we were there for 31/2 weeks. She was finally transferred to Sheppard Pratt (not our first choice). We were turned down by both Veritas and Princeton b/c she was exhibiting aggression (obviously not her normal behavior). She has now been at SP for about week now and seems to think she will be getting out soon. She is eating but the ED still has a strong hold on her thoughts so I am not sure why they would be talking about releasing her. We are considering trying to get her into a different PHP when the time comes does anyone have any recommendations for the DC metro area although we are willing to do whatever we have to do? Has anyone experienced an ex spouse saying they are onboard but when the time comes crumbles to what their child wants? What should my expectations for our home life after PHP?
Someone under the name of persist recently posted here and used a FBT therapist in DC. Maybe you can ask them which therapist they used. My daughter was also 11 when she became ill the end of August and lost weight quickly like yours. I used Eva Musby's reources to refeed her at home and she is doing well. All of the behaviors will improve when your daughter starts eating. Get Eva's book and look at her videos on YouTube. If your husband is not on board can she stay with you during the process of refeeding?
I will look into the info you provided. Thank you for responding. Unfortunately, her dad will not allow that.
Dear luluafay,

Debra18 remembers right, I just posted a few days ago about our journey with ED in the D.C. area. My DD is now 14 but was diagnosed just before she turned 12. (If you search under my older username, mdmama, you can find other threads with our history.) My DC spent a week at Children's in 2015 but then was released home and never needed to do a PHP or IOP program. 

Not to worry you, but I have heard concerning things about Sheppard Pratt, including a fairly recent note on the Parent Reviews section of ATDT. (Warning-- it may be upsetting, but I wanted to point it out in case you are interested in reading it: http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/do-not-take-your-child-to-sheppard-pratts-center-for-eating-disorders-in-md-9714069?pid=1303975191#gsc.tab=0 )

I have heard much better reviews of the Reflections center in Virginia: https://reflectionsed.com

There is a parent/caregiver support group for those whose loved ones have EDs here in the DC area. It has sort of dropped off, and I don't think we have gotten together to talk in person for close to a year, but the group should still be accessible online. If you e-mail dc-edfs-owner@yahoogroups.com you should be able to get access. People there have had experience with many treatment providers, both in the D.C. area and elsewhere.

I know the names of various therapists in the DC/MD area who work with ED patients, but it sounds as though you need a more structured program right now.

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk offline. I'm sorry you and your girl are going through this. 
Make sure that you have a plan in place before they discharge her. I think someone posted recently about an ex husband that also wouldn't take part in refeeding while the child was by him. Maybe you can both meet with the FBT therapist. Also have a plan in place if she becomes violent again.
Welcome to the forum, sorry that you have had to find your way here. If you have not already I would suggest going to the learning center where there is lots of good information about eating disorders, including a leaflet to help in choosing providers. Getting you and your ex on to the same team in terms of caring for your D is one essential part of treatment. Whilst you are coming at it from different directions your D is likely to continue to suffer and much more likely to suffer relapse with improvement. 

One way of getting you on the same team would be to consider doing going to UCSD intensive family week for children and adolescents where you will both be taught about how to help your D and come up with a contract to work with for ongoing care. You could then do FBT at home which is the treatment with the strongest evidence base for young children and adolescents. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.