F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Honey_Badger Show full post »
scaredmom

Honey_Badger, 
Good progress wth the weight gain!
Yes these freak outs are tough and expected. You are getting through and doing very well!

XX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
tlcmom
I'm new here as well, this forum is really hard to use. I keep reading that it's important to address the problem early but I'm not reading anything about how to do so... only advice for more advanced problems. Hope you are having better luck getting the answers you need. Sorry I can't figure out how to start a new post or contact a moderator. 
Quote
deenl
Hi tlcmom and welcome,

If you are using a computer you should see a row of red words including 'User's Guide' and the 'Eating Disorders Learning Centre' towards the top centre of the screen. There is also a link to contact a moderator.

If you are using an android phone there is a button called 'Compose' on the bottom right of the screen which will allow you to begin a thread. I'm sorry but I don't know with any of the other phones.

I hope that this helps and you can let us know a little about your situation and we can help support you.

Warm wishes,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
Quote
tina72
Hi tlcmom,
welcom to that forum and sorry that you have to join us. I had some problems with my login, too, because on my pc it is working different (no idea why). When I login I don´t see that "new topic" button on the right. There is only "welcome, tina72". When you click on "Eating disorders learning center" on top and then "Hearing from other families - Around the dinner table forum - Browse the discussion forum" and then click on "Browse the discussion forum", there will open a new window and now tada!!! the "new topic" button is there and you can use it.
I hope that helped you.
You asked how to adress the problem early:
I think most of us waited too long with intervention and look for help. It is important that you catch ED early when you see that you kid has a disordered eating habit and not wait until he/she lost a lot of weight. It is important to get the weight back asap.
If you cannot set an own thread with the new topic button, feel free to ask in that thread, I think nobody here will mind that.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
tina72
Hi Honey-Badger,
the complaining about milk and the vegan eating theme I would watch seriously, you are right with that.
Maybe you can ask her if she wants canola oil (rapeseed) in her smoothie better than milk. If she accepts that, she is "only" on a vegan "safe the animals" trip. If she doesn´t want both, that is alarming.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Honey_Badger
updates:

Daughter seems to be doing OK.   She's definitely eating.  I found a new "milk" product at the store a few days ago.   It is called Ripple (Nutritious Pea Milk)

https://www.ripplefoods.com

It is a milk-type drink made of yellow peas.   Nutrition facts per 8 oz serving:  8 g protein; 450 mg calcium; 130 calories; 4.5 g fat.

My daughter enjoys the taste.    I think it is a much better substitute for almond milk or rice or even soy milk because of the higher calories, fat and protein; not to mention the calcium.

I took my son to the doctor for a regular check up.  He has gained a lot of weight the past year, although not anything the last 6 months, I noticed; but I'm not very concerned.  He's been eating very well, but as he is working out, he just needs to eat more.   He is ADAMANT that he wants to gain weight; just has a hard time finding time to eat because he gets distracted by gaming, etc.   He's back to about 20%ile for weight but he should be up at 40%ile.   We'll keep working.

I mentioned to the doctor that his canker sores have pretty much disappeared.  (I always told her I thought the canker sores were a result of mineral deficiency but she always poo pooed my theories.)   She thought for a minute and said, "well, maybe your improved nutritional status has helped your immune system."   Argh!   Ya think??
Quote
tina72
"I mentioned to the doctor that his canker sores have pretty much disappeared.  (I always told her I thought the canker sores were a result of mineral deficiency but she always poo pooed my theories.)   She thought for a minute and said, "well, maybe your improved nutritional status has helped your immune system."   Argh!   Ya think??"

So you see your gut was right! Trust your gut with your d, too. You know them both best.
Thanks for the information on Ripple, I don´t know if it is available here but it might help other vegetarian eaters.
You rock it![wave]

Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Honey_Badger
End of June update:

DS 16 recovered from ARFID.  Like TOTALLY recovered!  He is working out three or four times a week, developing muscles and thickening up. He eats everything and he's learning to cook this summer for himself.

DD 13 who I was worried might be developing anorexia -- went for a three month checkup with a new pediatrician at the same practice.  DD has gained 7 pounds since last March, despite joining swim team this summer.  She's eating very well.  She's developed horrible acne and decided she wants to cut out all dairy.  But she's agreed to add eggs and fish back into her diet, and she is doing a great job of finding snacks to eat after swim team practice that involve nuts or seed butter, etc.  She's adding hemp seeds to her cereal and pasta and drinking high calories, non dairy smoothies.  Most days she has a breakfast of two scrambled eggs, two pieces of toast and some grits!

Her mental state is good, and she eats often. She agrees that when she is swimming in the cold pool for an hour she needs to add an extra snack and understands that if she stats to lose weight I will pull her from swim team.

I would still be happier seeing her at about 106 not 102 and need to be better about keeping up with her dietary needs.  I'm sure she'd eat more, if I had more appetizing foods ready at hand.  But just looking at her, she looks great -- very solid strong looking legs and arms, not all wispy.  Her face looks full and solid,too.  

Quote
Foodsupport_AUS
Wonderful to hear you update and that you son is doing so well. It sounds like you are still watching your D closely and need to. You have done an amazing job.
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote
Honey_Badger
I tried to post her BMI Growth chart but couldn't manage it.  I'm so proud of the rise after that sudden dip.

I feel like this new doctor really validated me, as well. She took my daughters drop in weight percentile seriously and was pleased to see the progress.  She picked up on my daughter's perfectionism and anxiety as well, and gently inquired about how much exercising she was doing on swim team. 

I truly believe we averted a problem, but will continue to keep my eyes open and aware with her.
Quote
Mamaroo
Hi Honey_Badger

Thanks for the update and it's great to hear about your progress. Happy to see your d has now gained weight. You've come a very far way!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
Quote
atdt31_US
Great job all the way around!! You rock!
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
Quote
bartman99
I did a search and this seems to be the main ARFID thread. Are there any others? If that's true, can I post my DS story here and ask questions about ARFID here?
Bartman
Quote
scaredmom
Hi bartman99,
Welcome!!
You may post anywhere you like! I would suggest that to get your specific story out, you could start your own new thread just go to the top right where it says "new topic" click and tell us your son's story. 
There are lovely people on here and everyone wants to help. So please ask all the questions you have. 
There is always someone around 24/7 to help or just "listen".

Welcome,again, although so sorry you needed to be here.
XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Foodsupport_AUS
Welcome Bartman99. 

As scaredmom has said you can post where you like. I would suggest starting your own thread and introducing yourself . 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote
Honey_Badger
Update:  I took my son out to a Japanese Yakitori (grilled meats) restaurant yesterday for a special dinner.   I can't believe how adventurous he was!  He ate literally everything.

My formerly severe picky eater ate: chicken heart, chicken liver, charred sweet potato; charred leeks, kabocha squash, pickled cucumbers, savory broccoli, aged beef, savory custard, all sorts of chicken on a stick. And roasted marshmallow with sesame sauce.

Can't believe how much he's changed since a few years ago.  He liked most stuff, didn't like some stuff, but trying it was no big deal.  And he took joy in eating all the different foods.  He enjoyed the different textures -- the different parts of the chicken all were prepared in different ways and had different textures and mouthfeels.  It was a huge learning experience for him.

Quote
atdt31_US
So great to see you here again, HoneyBadger.  Very cool that he has continued to be flexible in what he'll eat and willing to find new things to actually enjoy!

My recollection is that your son was very specific on what he would eat but not only that, I was thinking he also had some volume issues even if he had unlimited amounts of his "safe" foods available -- perhaps I am misremembering that, however.  I'm curious:  Would you say that your son now intuitively eats enough volume all on his own?  Or does is it more that you and he think about minimum volume and make sure he eats at least that much as an intentional part of every meal still?  
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
Quote
Honey_Badger
atdt31_US wrote:
So great to see you here again, HoneyBadger.  Very cool that he has continued to be flexible in what he'll eat and willing to find new things to actually enjoy!

My recollection is that your son was very specific on what he would eat but not only that, I was thinking he also had some volume issues even if he had unlimited amounts of his "safe" foods available -- perhaps I am misremembering that, however.  I'm curious:  Would you say that your son now intuitively eats enough volume all on his own?  Or does is it more that you and he think about minimum volume and make sure he eats at least that much as an intentional part of every meal still?  


Yes -- he was extremely specific about what he would eat -- for example, *only* Trader Joes brand Joe-Os, not brand name Cheerios, not generic brand cheerios, not honey roaster Cheerios.  ONLY ChikFila Waffle fries, fresh from the restaurant. Not taken home and reheated in the microwave or oven, not freezer waffle fries; not McDonalds or Wendy's Fries, not home made fries.  Repeat ad nauseum.   So while he actually would eat what looked like an acceptable number of foods, they were SO specific it was hard to actually get them for him to eat.

And then, what I think happened was, he started to go through the growth spurt of puberty, and needed more calories.  I wasn't able to provide him with enough in the form of his safe foods, and just gave up.  He slowly stopped eating, and got used to just not eating anything.  He never quite lost weight -- I caught it finally and helped him turn it around -- but he stopped gaining.  For a long time, he filled up very quickly and his tummy hurt if he ate too much.  I think it took about a year for that to improve.  Now he eats as much as any 17 year old boy:  two large hamburgers, double order of fries, a shake, and maybe something for dessert.

I don't have to watch how much he eats anymore, but he still has trouble finding enough food he likes to eat around the house.  He'll do fine off at college with the typical dining hall arrangement though: he likes everything to be "easy" and just out in front of him.  He's not the kind of kid to make himself a sandwich, or to slice his own chicken or beef off of a roast.  (i.e. he's lazy....)   He'll make freezer food like hot pockets, but won't cook a meal for himself yet.
Quote
Mamaroo
Hi Honey_Badger, wow you've made great progress, well done! It is great to see how many different (and exotoc) food he is now able to eat. Thanks for the update.
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
Quote
Foodsupport_AUS
It is great to hear how well hour son is doing HoneyBadger. It sounds like he is doing everything "normally" which is what we all want.
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote

        

WTadmin