F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Judjo
Hi all
This is my first post. Ive been reading some of your posts which has made me feel calmer knowing so many of you are going through the same experiences, but so sad that so many of us carers and our children, siblings, partners are suffering with such horrid disorders. My D was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa 6 months ago but has been showing signs for over a year. She is 22 so not a child but she lives at home with me and my husband.
She has had her 10 Health care plan sessions at a private clinic. ( We live in Western Australia)
I foolishly thought she was on a home run and getting somewhere after her 10 sessions!! Now she’s on a major relapse but has agreed to go back to clinic.
I now know after reading some of your posts that I am at the beginning of a very difficult journey and the worst is probably yet to come. I am feeling scared and out of my depth. As a my mum all I want it is to make my D better and see her happy. I have this overwhelming feeling of helplessness, but am so glad to have found this site to share my feelings and hopefully give some support to you all aswell.
Thinking of you all and big hugs to everyone who needs one today xxxxxx Stay strong, stay calm 💕
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Enn
Hi there Judjo, [wave]
Welcome to the club no one really wants to join. Here you will find great support and great information. I don't have an adult child, my D was 11 when diagnosed so I can't give you a lot of advice. Please search the site for "adults" there are a few on this site and I am sure someone with an adult will be here soon.

It is scary and there is hope and effective treatments. It is a horrific illness that hijacks our kids so that we hardly recognise them. But it does get better. 
Is your D reliant on you and your H for money, car, phone etc.. This can be used as leverage to get her the treatment she needs. It can provide incentives for her to eat. She is not a child, for sure, but you still have a lot of influence and she is in your home so you have a lot of power here. 

Yes ,it is a long haul and I think it is more of a long winding journey through a tortuous , steep, mountain trail, you never know what will be in front of you until it is there and you need to be prepared for every eventuality and it is a gruelling climb. So let us know what we can do for you now. Is she eating? how much is she eating?Is she making her meals or you? 
How are you faring? Are you and H supported by the team?  
Please ask all the questions you have. Really someone here has been exactly where you are and can give you support. I also want you to know it does get better. It is a horrendous struggle, no sugar coating that, but it is worth it. And you can do it. And it really does get better. 

XXX
Food+more food+ time+ love+ good professional help+ ATDT+no exercise =healing---> recovery (---> life without ED)
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Mamaroo
Hi Judjo

We are also in WA (Perth) so a special welcome from me. Like Scaredmom, my d is still very young so I can't give advice for an adult. Please look up Kazi's post as her d is an adult and she lives in Perth as well.

Is it possible to get another 10 sessions referral as it seems to be working? It does take a long time before they can fly on their own, unfortunately. It took my d 8 months of consistent, supervised eating before she could eat without incentives. It still plate and serve most meals and snacks. She can pick supper (snack after d inner) on her own now (18 months post WR).

Please feel free to come here with any questions or just to vent, we will understand 😁.

Sending you lots of hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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Judjo
Hi Mamaroo & Scaredmum
Thank you both for your kind supportive words of wisdom 😊 I will check out Kazis posts. Just having someone to talk to who knows what your going through is s great help. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😘
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Judjo
Hi Mamaroo & Scaredmum
Thank you both for your kind supportive words of wisdom 😊 I will check out Kazis posts. Just having someone to talk to who knows what your going through is s great help. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😘
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Foodsupport_AUS
Welcome to the forum. Another Aussie here but from Victoria. Your D is the same age as mine, but we have been at this for quite a few years. 

It sounds like your D has been seeing a psychologist alone for treatment, has she had any other treatment? Medical oversight? Dietitian? With the psychologist what treatment are they doing? CBT or something else? I get the impression it is not FBT. 

This is definitely a long journey with many ups and downs. 

In terms of further treatment there is a plan for at least 20 sessions now for eating disorders, not sure if that has been brought into legislation. 
You can also get dietitian support via an EPC with the GP. With complex health issues you can get a medicare rebate if you get an EPC via your GP. They do an assessment and then you can get five visits per year. Not a lot I know but many dietitians will accept them as payment for those visits. 

Feel free to ask lots of questions
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Judjo
Hi
Thanks for the info 😊 Yes you are right just a psychologist alone for CBT. What is FBT? We have had a dietician appt but she was not very good so need to find another one that my D will go to ! I think that will really help.
🤗 😊x
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cm72
Hello all the way from Arizona, USA. I am also new to this journey. We are only about four weeks into the refeedings but be reassured, this method works! Lots of caring, supportive people on this site. Best wishes to you and your family as you tackle this together. 
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Enn
FBT family based treatment or therapy 
Here is a thread you may find helpful.
https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/maudsley-approach-and-fbt-9298135?highlight=fbt&pid=1305363969#gsc.tab=0

XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Nicstar4
Hi judjo in Sydney New here too I think you can only get 10 sessions on the mental health care plan. Ask your GP for a chronic care plan which will give you five sessions at dietitian psychologist or Physio. You may also try and get 10 sessions on mental health care plan for you and use them in joint therapy sessions. In Queensland They are trialing 50 sessions for ED on the mental health care plan I hope it moves to the rest of the country soon because the cost of all this treatment is prohibitive. Lots of luck to you try the local hospitals the therapy may be included in the outpatient treatment
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Judjo
Hi All
Thanks for your replies!! I am feeling so much better after having someone in the know to talk to [smile] xxxxx
Hope you are all faring well on your journeys xxxxx
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krae
Hoy, do you think that some pollie can get some help for SA? We're struggling badly with any funding and finding it really hard to help our young kids to find the help they need to beat this obnoxious, awful illness that wants to kill them.
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kazi67
Hi Judjo
Sorry you have had to find your way here but you will get lots of good advise and info
My d is 19 and we have been fighting the illness now for over a year, however she is doing very well atm
That’s not to say it’s been easy
can you supervise your d eating getting 3 normal meals and 3 snacks every day into her
If she is exersizing it’s best if that stops until she is WR and can maintain that weight
if you can get your d to eat yourselves you could save having a hospital admittance, however the anorexia was too strong and my d needed hospital admittance
You can use things like phone usage, car (we supplied our d car and fuel as she is not working atm) or any other thing you can use as “leverage”
Read all the info on the site and believe that your d can recover!!
Lots of love and support is necessary and separating the illness from your d
I went to a carers course which was helpful
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kazi67
The course was run by women’s health and family services in Joondalup
Google Body Esteem Program
They also run courses for the girls my d iis enrolled in the next one
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