F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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jens Show full post »
EASL
Jens - I'm late to this thread so I hope things have improved. The comment above about "translating" what is being said to you is the one that resonates the most with me. The same way ED takes over their personality it also takes over their language. If you think about it from a hostage point of view - they want to say "Help" but can't so they say all sorts of other things. As my daughter put on weight she complained about her favourite jeans being too short - they weren't - I realised (later...duh) that was her way of saying they were too tight. So much of what is being said to you is her way of negotiating with the monster but at the same time trying to communicate her needs - and as said above - sometimes in a hurtful manner. If you can, take I hate you to mean exactly the same as I love you - she can't say that because the ED monster won't let her - but she has very strong feelings for you - and that is something.

For me - so much of recovery and championing is forcing myself to pause and think and reflect and maybe say nothing. Your D is getting the proper medical care so now you just show her your love and support - regardless of what she says to you. Practice your ED translation skills - the more you do the more the 'hidden messages' may make it through.

Hugs to you - 
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Torie
EASL wrote:
The same way ED takes over their personality it also takes over their language. If you think about it from a hostage point of view - they want to say "Help" but can't so they say all sorts of other things. 

So true.  It is like they are speaking a different language that superficially SOUNDS just like the language they have always spoken, but the meaning is suddenly unpredictable.

Thinking of you, Jens. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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