F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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I’m fed up with fighting this battle now, I feel utterly helpless and everything I do is ineffective. My D is being discharged a week on Friday so she can return to school to take her Alevel mocks. She asked for this to happen but it now terrified. She is barely talking to any of us, visits are silent and texts don’t get responded to. Yesterday she said that she doesn’t know how to revise, eat and not be sick all at the same time.
I love her so much but don’t think I’m any help to her anymore. 

I have no wise words for you yellowcaty just a hug (()). Hopefully someone else will be along soon.

just one thought: can she take her mocks in the unit instead of going back to school?
Currently no light; only tunnel 🙁
Thinking of you. I agree with CED123, is there a possibility of her taking them whilst still inpatient. 

Transitions are really hard. My understanding is your D was only admitted a month or so ago after four months at home because she was struggling. How has she gone since back inpatient. Is she managing to gain weight? If so then it would seem that making a clear plan/contract with her over the next week of what would make a lot of sense. ED loves rules but sometimes it can work in your favour and make structures clear as to what does she need to do - eg. accept what you need her to eat, continue to gain weight at X kg per month, amber flags for things needing early review, red flags as to what constitutes needs for readmission. 

Ironically my own D found it easier when studying for her final school exams to keep on going. Her head was too busy to let ED thoughts in, she was too busy - mindless food planning was easier - three meals and three snacks. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Sending you hugs, Yellowcaty.
Our experience also found that being busy and having the 3 meals 3 snacks plan was very helpful (trying to get back to that now).

Yellowcaty, sending hugs and hope that things will be better at some point.

You are an amazing, loving mum and your daughter is lucky to have you. 

I'm sorry you are feeling so down but all the positive things you have done for your daughter and the love that you show her has an effect even if you cannot always see it right at the moment. This is a good opportunity to support her to take steps for her future self since A-levels are important, and perhaps the distraction will be helpful for her.  



Is there any possibility she can do these exams while in IP? Can you fetch her up, bring her to school and bring her back right afterwards?
Is there any chance to write that later? What about the kids that are sick at exam time, is it lost then?
Exams alone are a big thing with ED and maybe it is just too much for her to combine that with a discharge idea...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.