F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Morgana
After 4 months intensive re-feeding at home then 10 months in ip, the majority of that time being tube fed, almost sectioned 5 times and an exercise compulsion, my d is being discharged in the next month!

She is 0.2kg from her initial target and has been at around the same weight (give or take 0.5kg) for at least 6 weeks.

The best thing...She eats. I could weep and I'll say it again, she eats. She eats 5 times a day, everything put in front of her. She's on 2850 calories for weight maintenance.

She has been gradually increasing the variety of foods since coming off the ng tube, and obviously this is going to be our challenge at home now to further increase the variety as she continues to recover.

I am under no illusion, I know she is not recovered and won't be for some time, but she has started the recovery process after soooo long and so much resistance! 

I find it very difficult to come on here these days and read posts so similar to mine, it's so painful and raw. I feel so traumatised! I've stuffed it all down to just manage day to day, and I can't look after my d now if I'm struggling with such painful memories. I know in time those memories will face and as d continues to recover I will have new memories, but until then please forgive me for not posting a lot. 

For any new people who don't know me, feel free to look back over my post history and there is a lot of great advice I've been given that might help you, and the only other thing I can offer is hope. 
I couldn't have got through to this point without everyone here with your advice, support and stories of hope, and thank you doesn't seem to cover it. But I'll say it anyway, thank you. And now as we start the next phase I'm terrified but hopeful my d will fully recover!
15yr old d. June 2014 stomach pain. Medical investigations until Feb 2015, referred to CAMHs dx food anxiety. Kept restricting and losing weight until July 2015, medically unstable. Began intensive re-feeding at home. Re-evaluated by psychiatrist, dx Autism Spectrum Disorder and Atypical AN.
Found out it's actually Typical AN.
IP from Oct 15, ng tube Nov. Re-started eating food July 2016. Discharged from IP August 2016 97% weight for height.
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K63
Hi Morgana, it's so good to hear from you and I am so happy that your d is eating and sticking to the meal plan. I can imagine you are both excited and anxious about discharge . Have you a back up plan in place if your d refuses to eat after discharge . I don't want to dishearten you but I wasn't really prepared for it and it happened to us and we had a few difficult months but on a positive note we kept going and we are in a much better place than this time last year. This year has been so much better my d did her leaving cert and has started socialising again recovery is definately positive . Sending you hugs take care of yourself too .
Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
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ed_newbie
Sending prayers your way for a peaceful transition to home and the strength to continue through what will hopefully be a solid recovery. Keep us posted!

"Lineage, personality and environment may shape you, but they do not define your full potential."    Mollie Marti  

ed_newbie

15 yr old d diagnosed with AN late December 2015 at the age of 12 after a 23 lb weight loss during prior 3 months. Started FBT/Maudsley at home on Christmas Eve with support from amazing local nutritionist specializing in ED and trained in FBT. WR Feb 2016 and pushing our way through puberty and rapid growth.
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mjkz
Morgana that is wonderful!!!  I wondered what had happened with you and how things were going. So glad to hear that things are going better and will be keeping my fingers crossed your transition is as smooth as possible!!!
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deenl
Such super news!

Wishing you lots of strength and persistence and luck and anything else you need.

Warm wishes,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly gaining at home, seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight. 2020 Off to university, healthy and happy.
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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NELLY_UK
Fabulous news! Time to find out what the new normal will be!
So happy for you all.
X
NELLY D 20 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. ED/Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
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Morgana
Thanks so much everyone! I know it can be hard to read anything positive when things are so difficult and bleak. I remember the dual feelings of envy and hope, and it's for the hope this might give that I ended up posting. Not that we are at the end of anything, in fact I am fully aware it is only the beginning of recovery. 

k63 it is good to hear your d is doing so much better! ANd you haven't disheartened me, believe me I am up and down about the whole thing anyway. One minute I am so happy she will be properly back home with us and then I'm terrified, doubtful, suspicious etc!

There is a meeting on the day of her discharge so I am going to ask then in front of her what happens if she stops eating. So far everyone has told me that tier 3 will keep a good eye on things but that's not a plan, is it?  I've been told 3 consecutive weight losses will be concerning, but whenever I've asked what we do then I'm told tier 3 will advise us. Doesn't fill me with confidence lol


15yr old d. June 2014 stomach pain. Medical investigations until Feb 2015, referred to CAMHs dx food anxiety. Kept restricting and losing weight until July 2015, medically unstable. Began intensive re-feeding at home. Re-evaluated by psychiatrist, dx Autism Spectrum Disorder and Atypical AN.
Found out it's actually Typical AN.
IP from Oct 15, ng tube Nov. Re-started eating food July 2016. Discharged from IP August 2016 97% weight for height.
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ooKoo
Hi Morgana, I am so that your D will soon be home! It is a huge step further towards recovery....

You are right to ask what the plan is just in case your D stops eating, and to ask in front of her sends out a great message......that you are very much on the case. Will Tier 3 be at the discharge meeting?

In my experience, after (general hospital) discharge Tier 3 offered a very comprehensive package of care, which involved home visit every other day to start with, which of course came with access to 24 hour telephone contact. My D was also seen by a Therapist once a week with my H and I. Gradually, as things get into routine and if your D (and you!) are coping well, the home visits will lessen. Your area may be different, (probably better (?!)).

Hopefully, your IP Unit will hand over a meal plan for you to use, so that your D will be eating familiar food to start with. They may even hold her bed in the unit for a few days, as a safety net. This was the case with my D.

Good luck and do let us know how you are getting on!

Kx

UK - South East

19 yo D

Dx AN Feb 2015 (Aged 15). Pre-existing low self-esteen and high anxiety. 

2015: 3 x medical hospital admissions. 1 month in IP which she self discharged from [eek].
2016: 3 x hospital admissions. 
2017: CAMHS CBT. WR, dropped out of 2 different colleges and started an apprenticeship.  Started having grand mal seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy in Nov 2017. Sacked from job because of this.  Tribunal ensued.
2018 - doing a Psychology degree through Open University and working in retail to pay her way in life. Relapses with eating disorder in June 18 and Nov 18 😢. 

On particularly rough days when I am sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. [Author Unknown]
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