F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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tina72
I thought about opening a new thread for all parents around here that have a legal adult patient to care for. We could collect legal possibilities in the different contries, contract ideas and what is needed in this special case. It is open for all parents of a legal adult "child" no matter if they are 18 or 38.

To make a start, helping a legal adult person is more difficult because in many contries law and health system ask them to "choose" to be treated and that is difficult with AN. Biggest problem with this disease besides weight loss is anosognosia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosognosia
And especially the young adults are often some years behind in development so are adult on paper but not emotionally/in mind.

So what can we do?
1. We can ask them to live with us to help them to eat, especially if they are financially dependend from us. A routine of 3 meals 2-3 snacks is easier to follow if you do not eat alone. We can help them not to purge and not to overexercise.
2. We can ask them to allow GP and therapist to share information with us (especially if they are financially dependend from us and we pay for the team). We can encourage them to go to an adult IP program if needed and offer to pay for that.
3. In some contries there are legal rights that prevent people from getting into a life threatening situation. They can be admitted even against their will if it is necessary to keep them alive, for example here in Germany.
4. We can make a contract with them and tell them what we will do and what we will pay for and what they need to do for that. Car key for eating for example...

For introduction: my d is 19, 2 years after diagnose (RAN), doing well and off to University at the moment
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ocras68
I wanted to bump this thread up because I thought it was a good idea of Tina’s.  I’m not able to contribute because my daughter is young and I haven’t had to deal with adult services, but I felt there would be people on this forum who could contribute, and there have been a few threads recently asking for help with adult children.
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tina72
Oct18 wrote:
I agree that help that has worked for young adults would be appreciated . Especially by me!! My D has just been discharged from IP after many months and is struggling to eat enough at home even with my support and I am trying to think of every incentive and motivation I can to help her recover 


Hi Oct18,
here distraction and getting her back with her friends into normal life helped a lot. For incentive we used the dancing club (no over-exercising here) and driving lessons (1 lesson for every day she ate with no problems). She was very keen on getting her driving licence and have her own car so we told her we will pay for the driving licence at WR and buy her own car when she manages to maintain her weight for 6 months after that. Now this car is for the last year our best friend as she knows the car key would be first thing she has to give back if she was not compliant and she loves her car 🙂. Also helping her to find what to do in future and to be able to go to University (half schedule at the moment) was a good incentive. She was about 1 year after WR at a point were she wanted to be normal and just live a normal life and that helped a lot.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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