F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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AJmom
It has been less than a week of FBT with our 13 year old who was recently diagnosed as anorexic.  We had to pull her out of camp - her favorite place in the world -  for treatment. The first couple of days were okay.  But now she has slid into a total depression - wanting to do nothing, saying she hates everyone and everything and just wanting to cry.  She hates us making her eat and draws out feeding making them very difficult. But she is eating when we make her. I am having trouble “distracting” her or trying to motivate her with fun activities while she is in this funk of only wanting to lay down and cry. It is so hard to see her like this.  
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scaredmom
This is common, and I know that knowing that does not make it better. We really could not distract while feeding but used ping pong before eating helped a bit. After eating she would go to her room in a huff! 
It will take time for this to get better and you will need to learn to tolerate her distress as long as she and the rest of the family is safe. 
I know it is awful to see them so upset, it is part of ED though and they have to feel yucky until they don't. Sorry, it is so hard right now. 
It is a good thing she is eating what you give her. That is the key the treatment right now that she needs. 
Sending a big hug and please know it does get better, it just takes a lot of time. 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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workingthrough
It’s so hard. Just wanted to send a hug as well. It will get better. Every meal + snack she completes is a step out of the deep, deep darkness you’re in. S went through more depression for some time as we made our way out, keep a close watch on her - it will definitely get better, but possibly worse for a some time as well. Keep holding on. 
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tina72
It is so hard to watch that but it is a total normal reaction.
Most important is that she eats what you serve.
What about TV for distraction? We binge watched a lot of series in that time. Even if she does not seem to engage in it.
Try to get through that. It is a normal episode in refeeding and it gets better with time and food and weight on.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Mamaroo
I'm glad she's eating, even if she's complaining about it. My d also cried a lot. For distraction we played candy crush during meals. Stay strong, just keep in swi ming, you've got this!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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amarathonnotasprint
You are on the right track! Our D’s depression and outbursts got worse for several months as she gained weight during refeeding. I learned to see it as a sign that we were on the right track - her illness was trying to keep a hold on her and it was torturing her. But we just kept feeding and making it through one meal at a time. It started getting better slowly shortly before goal weight and now she is pretty much back to her normal awesome self 5 months post WR. Every calorie eaten is one step closer to the end of your D’s distress!! 
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