F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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cm72
Due to the coronavirus, our schools are shut down for two weeks. We just had a week off for spring break. We decided to homeschool our kids until school starts back up. So we instituted a schedule as of today where they do a bit of learning off and on between the hours of 9 and 2. Maybe just three total hours of math, science, etc. 
Well my daughter is freaking out and saying the most horrible things to us saying she is not going to do it. We threatened to take her phone and all electronics away and she still doesn't care. We said that we will not allow them to be on their phones/electronics for 12 hours a day anymore and she needs to do this so we can get our work done too. It doesn't matter. She is being so incredibly mean and spiteful.
Any suggestions? How do you force a kid to do something they don't want to do?
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Enn

I hear you. This is a weird time for all of us. The big change in routine and more parental supervision is likely a trigger. Not sure it is ED, may just be the change in life situation? 

If it were me, I would just make the routine and expect everyone to comply and see how it goes . It has just been today, give it time and try to stick it out. 

I am having a hard time adjusting to this as well. The kids will likely have more issues. They cannot see their friends, they feel well (some may actually feel that they won’t get ill). There is no school, or outings or anything to look forward to right now. 

being stuck at home for all of us sucks. I should clean up more but I know I won’t.
I think you have a good plan try, stay focussed on it. The kids may appreciate the new routine soon enough! I need to get ours into a routine here too. 

Sending my best,
🌷

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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cm72
Thanks Enn. Yes, I need to give it time. I'm not the most patient of person. 🙂
It's so hard for all of us. Anything that is a change in schedule is upsetting to everyone. 
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Torie
Sorry, I can't remember how old your d is or what her previous education situation was.  Has she been in school the whole time?  

It also isn't clear to me what is meant by "We decided to homeschool our kids." Do you sit with them and try to teach them these math and science topics?  

Has she said what it is - specifically - that she objects to with the current plan?

I would like to offer suggestions, but I really don't understand your situation well enough to have any thoughts, other than of course loads of sympathy for this additional stress and complication. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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cm72
Torie, She is 12 years old and has been in school this whole time. Since the kids are now off school for the next couple of weeks, we are turning to online programs to help teach them math, science, etc. We will be there to help of course. 
She is stating that doing this schooling at home is stressing her out and making her want to die. To be honest, she's been a bit of a drama queen this whole past week. I do think that the change in schedule and the mood of the nation is stressing her out. I believe she can pick up on things even while we are acting very calm in front of her. 
Best wishes to all of us while we get through this change. I really fear for those who have kids in the midst of the ED as these kids thrive on schedule even more than any other kid. Luckily she is doing great with eating so I don't have to worry about that. 
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Torie
My d has been sent home from university to learn online and honestly she is finding that hard.  I think some of the challenges are:
1) Difficulty with the self-discipline needed;
2) Apprehension about this unfamiliar system;
3) Inability to ask the teacher questions;
4) Increased level of stress in general.

I think she is settling in a bit with this so 2) may be easing.

Do you think your d's list would be similar?  Is there a particular subject that is generating the lion's share of the stress?  Would it help to start with one subject at first?

Obviously I am shooting in the dark here.  Wish I had something more helpful to offer.  Hugs xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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debra18
My kids are all home and rumors of a lock down. I am scared of running out of food. The good thing is it makes meal supervision easier. My ED daughter has been doing half a day online this year anyway and does so independently. But I would say the priority is there eating for your daughter. They can be very stubborn and you might want to try different approaches as usual. One is offering incentives, better not to take away. When your learning is done, you can have your phone. Is the school requiring she does a certain amount of learning? If not you might consider letting it go. Most things are not skill based and she will catch up when she has to. 
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Torie
That is a good point, Debra.  All that really matters is that she is eating.  There is very little downside to missing some months of science and language at age 12.  If you wanted to pick one subject to focus on, math is a good one to prioritize because of the heirarchical nature of math.  But even there, I'm sure the school realizes that the amount of learning will not be what they are accustomed to.

For your sake, though, cm72 I can see why you want her to settle down and focus on something for a while, especially since you need to enforce some education for your other kids.  I wonder if her teachers would have any suggestions for you - perhaps they could assign some entertaining videos for her to watch?

Please keep us posted.  Thinking of you. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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debra18
Khan academy and ixl are very good online resources 
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MKR
My daughter turns to YouTube a lot for explanation of maths rules. I can hear these young male voices, so I am assuming someone from her age group is sharing their knowledge and "speaks the language".

There is more than one presenter, so maybe look around for the one that "clicks" with your child.

We are planning on limiting phone time (not just wi fi time) if there is to be a lockdown.  The kids behave much better whenever they've spent time reading actual books instead.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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salmy
My D(16) is struggling with being home. The weekends are usually hard, so being home all.the.time is pure torture! We are keeping a routine, which she loosely follows. My main goal for her each day is to take a shower and get dressed. Academics have been a struggle with her for this year as she's been fighting ED, so with the giant packet of school work that we picked up yesterday and all of the google classroom assignments, D is feeling super overwhelmed. I'm going to have to manage that flow of assignments to her whereas my boys 14 and 12 will be able to manage this independently. I've found that just a little info at a time is best, one goal at a time is best, one assignment to focus on at a time. Her brain is unable to handle any more than that.  
D16 diagnosed AN October 2019 -25% of body weight, but still "healthy weight" per Dr.
Started FBT Dec 2019
July 2020 Fully WR + 10%
2 Months in to Phase 2
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