F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Suzanne

Hi all,
any info/ideas/opinions/etc regurading finding a mentor for my son?
he’s 18 and still refeeding and as a high growth curve to meet.  ( he’s gone from 1% to 50th% and needs to get to the 75th%) 
I trust “your” experience for this....
thanks!!
suzanne 
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mimi321
Hi Suzanne,

maybe others will have some ideas, the only person that comes to mind is Tabitha Farrar who offers recovery coaching, not sure if that would be of interest. https://tabithafarrar.com.  She seems quite good. 

Otherwise it would have to be, I think, someone who was well and truly recovered with a good understanding of the illness. 

Your son has certainly come a long way! Hope you find a good solution, I think it's an interesting idea that could work under careful conditions. 
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - A. A. Milne
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SeaLion

Hi, Suzanne,

What a beautiful idea.  That could mean a lot to someone in your son's shoes, and to you as well! 

What a puzzle it can be, to figure out how to find mentors, or even positive examples of recovery, when ED's are so rarely talked about openly.  Is your son still in high school?  If so, perhaps a counselor at his school could help him connect with someone in solid recovery, maybe someone living a happy twenty-something life now?  Or if your son's connected to a college, a university counseling center may have a staff member who would be happy to check in with him on this topic.

Also, watch for speaker events in your area, through any ED treatment centers.  If you live in the States, you can look up your local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness).  NAMI's speaker events are always free, and the people go through a training process in how to present their own recovery journey in a helpful way.  A person willing to share their story of recovery is probably going to be highly encouraging of others who are dealing with the same illness.

This isn't what you asked about, but I'm reminded that I once stumbled on a brief mentor situation for my husband and me.  I was searching for family support groups with my D's then-clinic... I e-mailed the director of the clinic my question, and she offered to share contact info. for someone whose D was recovered from ED (for several years).  Their family had gone through so much, during a 9 year battle.  Now they dedicated some time to support other families through sharing their story and answering questions.  My husband and I had breakfast with these total strangers and found that we had many things in common.  It was extremely encouraging and helped me not lose hope about better days ahead.  Also, they were perfectly lovely people so it helped reinforce that ED's are not a result of bad parenting. 

I look upon this forum as my international mentor.  

Good luck with your search, and well done with your son's weight going up!!!  

Older and Wiser
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tina72
Suzanne wrote:

Hi all,
any info/ideas/opinions/etc regurading finding a mentor for my son?
he’s 18 and still refeeding and as a high growth curve to meet.  ( he’s gone from 1% to 50th% and needs to get to the 75th%) 
I trust “your” experience for this....
thanks!!
suzanne 


I am not quite sure what you mean and expect with the word "mentor" but if you search for help with treatment Tabitha Farrar is for sure a good place to go.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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mimi321
Just saw this and thought of your post:  https://www.adulteatingdisorderrecovery.com
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - A. A. Milne
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