F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Bailey2019
I've searched the existing forums and don't see any mention of Ontario Shores since 2017, and I suspect those threads are long since closed. So starting a new one. Our d is now on the wait list at Ontario Shores and we currently have more questions than answers. We're trying very hard to find anyone who has had a child go through this program. Not surprisingly it's awfully hard to find Google reviews on this program. Has anyone had any experience with this program and would be willing to share their experiences either here on the forum or 'off line' somehow? Thanks everyone.
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Foodsupport_AUS
Bumping after moving from provider's forum. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Torie

Since you haven't been inundated with replies, I took a peek at their website.  Or what might be their website - is this it? 
https://www.ontarioshores.ca/finding_help/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses/eating_disorders

I was concerned to see this in the first paragraph: "Eating disorders are not about food, but are a way of coping with deeper problems that a person finds too painful or difficult to deal with directly."

Oh dear, I'm sorry to say that that is not an up-to-date view of EDs.  I hope I went to the wrong website. xx

=Torie

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Bailey2019
That is indeed their website, thanks for flagging that Torie. It's also one of the reasons why I'm hoping to find someone, anyone, on these forums who has lived experience with the actual program itself. I don't want to put too much emphasis on the text on the website (since people can say anything they want there), but I do appreciate you taking the time to critically review it.
Still hoping someone on the forum will have an experience to share.
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Torie
Sorry, I am not familiar with your healthcare system.  Do you have a say in choosing the facility?  If no, we can help you figure out how to work with them in the best way possible.  If yes, honestly, I would cross this one off the list on the basis of their website.  I am guessing that is why you are not hearing from anyone here who has had experience with them.  xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Enn

I am in Ontario and have not heard much about Ontario shores. I wish to put it into perspective though as you don’t have anyone replying.
The number of Canadians, ontarians here are small. I do know that Homewood  in Guelph, or Ontario shores is where my d would have gone if needed. Our ED clinic does refer to them and thinks highly of them. And I think highly of my ED clinic.

if you choose to go there, and it is always your choice, would it be possible to call and speak with staff there and ask direct questions? That would be my game plan, if needed. I would have a lot of questions typed out and I would write all the answers as well. That way it may help you have a better understanding of what they do .

Are you able to tour the place? What does your original ED team say about them?

These decision are difficult especially when at a crossroad. I wish you the best in your research. 

The thing about opinions is this: I have seen on other forums how people don’t feel they got good care in Canada or even Ontario and I cannot speak to that as  it is their individual situation/ experience. I however,  know  for sure we got good evidenced based  care from IP to Op and for three years after. 

Yes I think that things were not perfect but I think it also was the me and my anxieties that did not help. It is in retrospect that I see how smooth a journey we have had. 

 

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Torie
This FEAST booklet has information about choosing a treatment provider that may be useful:
https://simplebooklet.com/treatmentguide#page=14
xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Bailey2019
Thanks again for taking the time to offer these thoughts and the link to the FEAST booklet. Unfortunately our current ED team hasn't been able to offer a whole lot of insight into Ontario Shores programming though they've had a few patients go through it (not surprisingly results seem to be mixed). However, in their defense we did finally (after 9 days of waiting) get a call back from the clinical lead psychologist today who was able to answer our questions from the clinician perspective, though we're still searching for experiences from the patient/caregiver perspective. I'll try to keep this thread active for a bit in the case that anyone should stumble across it and have some experiences to share, and will also continue to look around for more information.
Thanks everyone, the support here is outstanding.
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Torie
My d did not experience IP/residential treatment, but from what I have seen here on the forum since joining about 6 years ago:

I would want a program that aims for an increase of 1-2 pounds per week (1/2 to 1 kg) and achieves that in most cases.

Almost as important is their support of the parents during the transition home.  As you probably know, your d will not be returned to you in a "normal" state, but will require a high level of care from you after she is released.  I would want a program that makes it clear to the ED-kids that the parents will be in charge of meals.

One problem we see a lot is the old-fashioned advice to "avoid being the food police."  I ran into that (or related problems) with D's pediatrician and therapist.  It makes it MUCH harder to keep them on track once they are back home.  Their brains are simply not rational about anything related to food, calories, ingredients, size, shape, weight, etc. until quite a bit later in most cases.  When the "professionals" side with ED and say that the parents should back off and let the kid have the "control" to make meal decisions, well, that can be a recipe for the revolving door syndrome of treatment.

We were lucky to have a top-notch ED center in our area where we eventually took D.  They made it clear to D that she needed to eat whatever we served.  That made a huge difference.  They also told us (in front of D) that we should take her to them if she was unable to finish a meal.  Again, a huge help.

In general, the effective providers are not well liked by the sufferers.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  Eventually, they often come to see that that provider was a big positive, but at the time, the normal reaction is to complain bitterly and argue that the treatment is making things worse.  When we hear of sufferers who speak favorably of their treatment team, that can be a bit of a red flag.  Effective treatment usually makes them pretty miserable.  It is kind of like cancer treatment.  If it is making you miserable, that can be a good sign.

I hope you will keep us posted about your journey and of course please feel free to ask all the questions you like. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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MKR
Hi @Torie,

The above points you made are so clear and should be made available as a guide somewhere, so they don't get lost down an individual thread.

Hall of Fame?
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Foodsupport_AUS
You may like to try to contact bconnelly who has just posted in the Stories of Hope thread. Their daughter went through the program there. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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