Sorry – this is going to be a big ramble…
I need a big handhold and am hoping you might help. Actually what I need is someone to tell me I am not being useless, but I fear that is not possible - in which case I hope someone can help me be better.
My daughter has anorexia and has been in outpatient treatment (in the UK) since middle Jan, after 4 days on bed rest. Currently hovering somewhere about 80-82% so not critical but still not great. In school but off sport, and very distressed about further weight gain. She has a meal plan and is generally sticking to it in her own way. Some things she just won't eat (eg the biscuit snack), but she will eat similar calorie options (but of course not more calories!) and so we are kind of stable but not gaining very fast, and always pitching a little low. And a bit stuck in calorie counting. but she is drinking an ensure shake each day too.
My main angst is that I think we are just being rubbish – all the books say that you need to take total control but it just seems impossible to do that with her. She just has complete meltdowns and refuses to eat the snack or whatever. We are in FBT but there is no support – it’s basically the meal plan and then my daughter being talked at for an hour. Her therapist has been happy with progress being slow but maybe he is right as when I upped it one week (and got a whole 700g!) she just lost it. We had to slow again as she had exams too and we were just all falling apart. But now her exams are over we need to up it again and I worry that we are just too rubbish to manage this. I’ve asked to change therapist and now we seem to just be in a holding pattern where they think she is stuck and aren’t really trying to do anything until we get on someone else’s list, which might take a while. I think we need to keep going and get her weight up. We have a review meeting in a few weeks but I don’t know where that will get us but basically my plan is to stick with what she is eating, but add something else to get back to more gain. And then just try to push on through.
but the guilt at being rubbish is just really hard.
thanks to anyone responding and sorry if I'm slow to answer - have to avoid children.