F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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PleaseEAT Show full post »
LaraB

Hi @PleaseEAT  
I know everyone’s situation is different and you have been through so much.

I am not trying to advise but just to share, we had reverse sleeping here during lockdown with meal-plan out the window and significant weight loss. A short hospital stay helped to reestablish sleep routine and meal routine, and kickstart recovery after long period of stalemate. My D was also put on short-acting melatonin to support her to get to sleep at night. 
A little while ago, I remember you were reporting some good and positive progress to celebrate about your D despite all the difficulties you have all been through. I know I find it difficult to remember the positive steps when things are really tough, and feeling low and it can take some effort to reflect and think about her journey and realise how far she has come. I wonder would it be helpful to talk through your D’s journey and importantly the impact on you and your family with someone.

Sending you a hug again today. Of course you need to look after yourself. You sound exhausted. Have you figured out some practical ways you can care for yourself and look after your health and build your strength? Wishing you the very very best. 


 

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PleaseEAT

Thank you LaraB
Surprising enough After telling her to park her bags d has got up an eaten breakfast at a normal time with us this morn 

maybe she listened to something I said?
this whole lockdown/virus thing just adds another layer of stress on us all doesn’t it 
my brain has had enough stress now to last a lifetime I think 
❤️&☮️ to all 

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mommiful
That's wonderful. Maybe it helped her to know that you would draw the line. Maybe your willingness to take that step helped her see that she is ultimately responsible for herself--that you are supporting her, but not depriving her of her autonomy; that she does in fact want and need the support you are offering her. 

Best wishes to you both!
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LaraB
@PleaseEAT I am so glad she was able to get up for breakfast and keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you that she will be able to continue making progress now. Totally agree about how ridiculously stressful lockdown/ virus has been on top of everything else. Wishing some peaceful moments for your poor 🧠. Xx
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greekdude
PleaseEAT wrote:

Thank you LaraB
Surprising enough After telling her to park her bags d has got up an eaten breakfast at a normal time with us this morn 

maybe she listened to something I said?
this whole lockdown/virus thing just adds another layer of stress on us all doesn’t it 
my brain has had enough stress now to last a lifetime I think 
❤️&☮️ to all 



Hey! When I wrote my message to you in the other thread, I wrote I'd wait for some positive victorious update from you in some years, then I edited and wrote months, I should have written days! Well done! There is always hope. As long as the world turns around there will be hope.
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melstevUK
So happy for you PleaseEAT.  You have drawn up boundaries and shown you mean business.  If we can't influence their eating we have to make changes on other levels to change the dynamic. 

You made it clear that your family values are about working hard so a gentle reminder at this stage that she needs to be doing something constructive with her days if she wants to stay at home might be worth making. 
I don't know if she was working or studying and if Covid-19 is the reason for her doing nothing but encouraging her to continue to work towards her future too may work.
Just glad for you that there is a sudden response and improvement. Well done you. 
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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PleaseEAT

Thank you all for your encouragement/love and support when I really had given up
this illness is so relentless and can wear us carers/parents down down down 

I know it’s so important to continue with self care, but I have found that hard recently as I’ve had some health issues myself 

thank you again I really appreciate all your comments and help, I  had tears in my eyes whilst reading them And you helped me to “hang in there” and not feel so alone when friends and families in their “normal” worlds have no idea what we are going through rolling their eyes thinking “Now what?, isn’t she better yet”........

You really are all truly amazing and just wanted you to know I appreciate each and every response 

My d attitude seems to have changed in the right direction thankfully, I pointed out she is not the only one with “health issues” and maybe she should grow up get on with life and think about others as well as herself 

❤️☮️

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LaraB
Sending you loads of love @PleaseEAT 
we are all here to support each other, because we need to be. Xxxxx
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mamabear

This is a vile, exhausting, soul sucking disease. I am so sorry you are feeling g so down and your D is still ill. It is hard enough and complex enough to have an ED let alone if there are co-occuring mental illnesses. 

I have lived through suicide attempts with another child and his severe depression and anxiety. It’s been 2 years now of trying different meds and therapy etc. I have to say in some ways I have found it much harder for me than my d with the ED. I have felt very helpless at times. 


I know that about 3.5 years into the ED I was a wreck. I could barely function. I got my own therapist and started a med. I was diagnosed with PTSD. It took a few months of just being patient and kind to myself and I definitely started to see the world in color again. 


It’s such a complex journey . Even though my D is in a solid recovery, the effects of it on my entire family are still very present in ways. I still worry. My other kids have definitely paid a price, but they also have learned a ton about patience, empathy etc. 

It’s a fine balance of getting help but also EDucating ourselves on whether that help is competent or not. It’s not like having a kid with cancer where you can trust the oncologist knows what they are doing. And it’s not fair. None of this is fair. 

so just know all of us hear you. 

Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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PleaseEAT

Thanks for sharing your experience mama bear 
and yes when there are other family issues/mental health problem/worrying about my other d overseas whilst covid19/myself not sleeping well, all does make coping with everything much more difficult


need to STOP!!

one day at a time 
one foot in front of the other 

I guess when we see a blip/set back/unhelpful behaviours, unfortunately panic mode kicks in 

trying to BREATHE and yes be kind and patient with myself 😄


❤️ & ☮️ to all 

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PurpleRain
PkeaseEAT@ so glad today has been a better day, you are so caring to write a reply on my thread when you are having such s difficult time, it means so much to me. I hope the food days continue. Take care
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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PurpleRain
PkeaseEAT@ so glad today has been a better day, you are so caring to write a reply on my thread when you are having such s difficult time, it means so much to me. I hope the food days continue. Take care!
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Foodsupport_AUS
Quote:

need to STOP!!

one day at a time 
one foot in front of the other 

I guess when we see a blip/set back/unhelpful behaviours, unfortunately panic mode kicks in 

trying to BREATHE and yes be kind and patient with myself ðŸ˜„



Always true for all of us. So glad that you are feeling like things are under better control. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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OK25
PleaseEAT, I reckon you are an amazing parent. I empathize with you and just wanted to send support. Keep well. 
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PleaseEAT
thank you food supportAUS and OK25
i have been taking care of me!!! 😄👍
and am feeling much better 
PLUS my d wedding dress finally arrived o/seas and we are watching her wedding (delayed video) on Tuesday after having to cancel it all here at home because of this nasty virus 

oh and ED d, I have left her to her own devices and she seems okish
she has taken some control over her treatment team and sacked one of them 
I’m not sure to be worried about this or not atm but I guess time will tell 
I’ve got my fingers crossed 
☮️ ❤️
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Torie
PleaseEat, Thank you for your kind note on my thread.  Amazing that you took the time for that when you are on your own roller coaster.

I am so sorry for your difficult journey.  Please know that it is always okay to post whatever is on your mind or in your heart.   We have all faced this terrible monster so we understand ... at least sort of.

It is so unfair.  So very unfair.  Anyone who fights as long and as hard as you have deserves to have some really good days.  I sure hope yours will be brighter in the future. 

Sorry I have been gone so I didn't see your thread until now.  Thinking of you. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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