F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Pingu
Here we go again
A lot of you will
Know my story. So she’s 3 weeks into an IP stay at a good facility. She has however started to cause issues it seems. They made jam roly poly as a baking activity and she thought she didn’t have to eat it as she doesn’t have snacks yet. Soooo she thought it was ok clearly to talk about the ft content in it seemingly upsetting some of the other girls.
Well they asked her to eat it which she couldn’t manage. Her staff nurse has “told her off” it seems as they’ve taken it as she was gloating about not having to eat the bloody thing.
She’s also been accused of passing notes to another girl in the toilets and a whole host of other things that I need to find out about
For gods sake I don’t what the hell is going on and don’t fully trust WhT she says. When she was well she was like this too causing drama and fall outs can’t believe she’s doing it again
Feeling frustrated
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ValentinaGermania
Hi Pingu,
it is very difficult to know what really happened and what is true if you only know her side of the story. They often try to play out IP and parents. I would contact her nurse and ask her what has happened and hear her side. Maybe she thinks if she is causing drama she will get out there. Then it would be important to be on same page with IP nurses.
I can imagine how frustrated you must feel. Is there any weight gain up to now?
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Pingu
Hi Tina
There’s a little bit of weight gain I think 1kg

She’s just such a madam at times and I’m speaking to the IP nurse Cos I just don’t need this extra drama
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ValentinaGermania
Weight gain is great. So the direction is UP.
Remember that this is not your real d doing that all. This is ED who wants her to be seperated by everybody to get into control about her again.
Try to stay calm. This will end sometimes.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Foodsupport_AUS
Ideally I would "listen to the drama" but try not to solve it. She needs to be there at the moment as things were not working at home. So lots of sympathy but motivation to stay with the plan of working towards recovery so she can come home may be in order. i agree with trying to find out the other side of the story, but also thing probably no action is the best action.

Personally I think it very odd that they would consider a baking activity where they wouldn't need to eat the food - after all that is a very ED behaviour. It should be clear beforehand if that is what is happening, and someone would need to be supervising to make sure no one sabotaged the cooking. One could argue if acutely unwell they shouldn't be cooking at all but that is a whole other argument again. 


D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Pingu
Can things get more dramatic!
So has first FBT and to be fair it was good. We ended up talking about my son who has severe autism and how this makes my d feel. Though if you listened to her you’d think she co patented him which is not the case but she likes to be the “Martyr” she does go to a catholic school so I think this is a side effect.
So as you all know I’m having surgery soon so am on round the clock morphine. I’d felt a tad shaky in the session but not too bad . So we’re walking back to the main building and going down some stone stairs when I had a black out and went slithering down about 5-6 stairs very unceremoniously. It felt like every single member of staff came flying out and I think I was “out” for about a minute or so so not long but the realisation that is wet myself was very quickly bringing me round.
Well that has got to be a very memorable first FBT session. Has anyone got anything as spectacular as that!??! 😝

It could only happen to me,. Lesson learned I’m doing too much and need to rest more before I do even more damage
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Ellesmum
Oh Pingu, I do feel for you and agree that in theory you need rest, problem is how to achieve that. It’s inevitable that our own health suffers whilst we’re going through this with our kids and that other big issues crop up and need to be dealt with.

I’m glad you didn’t do yourself serious damage and glad FBT went well. Not a session you’ll forget in a hurry I guess. Hope today is uneventful and you can relax a bit xx
Ellesmum
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krae
Pingu I think you 'take the cake' for today on dramatics! I'm so glad you didn't severely damage your bad back, hospital is the best place to blackout, at least you had a good response from staff. Glad to hear first FBT went ok.
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ValentinaGermania
Pingu, I hope you did not damage anything more and yes, you are the "queen of dramatic leaving" today!

"It could only happen to me,. Lesson learned I’m doing too much and need to rest more before I do even more damage"
Take it not only for words, DO IT. You will need a lot of power for a long time and you are most important person now!
Try to do something nice for yourself.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Pingu
Well have decided I just can’t visit tomorrow I just can’t do it. It’s only a 2 hr round trip so compared to some of your journeys I feel a woos
I just feel physically and emotionally I’m done for now.
Do you guys get like this? I feel like a train that’s run out of steam
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krae
2 hr round trip in a car with your back in like going to the moon! My back is no where near as bad as yours and when it is playing up just getting into the car is a nightmare. I also feel like a train that has run out of steam at times and other times I feel like I've been hit by the train.

You are doing the best that you can in the situation, as well as trying to manage your own health issues.

Sending hugs and please try not to be too hard on yourself. xx
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Pingu
Krae
Hugs to you too Hun xxxxxxxxx
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Nicstar4
Think that is definitely the most dramatic exit from a FBT session!
Please look after yourself.
Take the time today to recharge.
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ValentinaGermania
Pingu wrote:
Well have decided I just can’t visit tomorrow I just can’t do it. It’s only a 2 hr round trip so compared to some of your journeys I feel a woos
I just feel physically and emotionally I’m done for now.
Do you guys get like this? I feel like a train that’s run out of steam


That is a wise decision and I hope it will help you to relax a bit. Try to delegate some work to others if possible and do something nice for youself.
We all feel like that train without steam and I still feel so sometimes although my situation is not at all comparable to yours. It sucks for such a long time now and you need to give 110 % and every time you think "ah, now I can breath through" there is bang! the next issue coming along the way.

Care for yourself tomorrow. You are important. It helps nobody when you break down now.
Please feel hugged by
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Pingu
Thanks all of you I don’t feel as much alone knowing you guys understand xx
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Torie
Pingu wrote:
Well have decided I just can’t visit tomorrow I just can’t do it. 


Your body has given a dramatic demonstration that this is the correct decision.  You need to take care of yourself in order to be able to care for your d.  It is like the airlines say: You need to put on your own oxygen mask in order to be able to help others with theirs.

Wishing you a peaceful day. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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ValentinaGermania
"I do have to say, you have one of the funniest senses of humour, that is for sure! "

I love your humor, too! We need to dare to laugh in these days...
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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mjkz
Seriously though don't get involved unless there is a very clear incident which is beyond what should happen and you actually witness it.  Just because your daughter causes drama doesn't mean you have to play that game.  You've got more than enough going on health wise without the drama.  You also (if you didn't witness any incident) have no idea what actually happened. I too have a drama queen and have learned the hard way that I can't fight her battles especially when she creates that battles to begin with.  I would listen to the first five minutes or so of my daughter's complaints and then tell her she had a good head on her shoulders and she needs to use it to solve her issues.  You really need to take anything she says with a grain of salt and consider that she is in a place she doesn't want to be and things are going to happen.  You can become part of the problem by jumping in and trying to mediate or save your own sanity and let your daughter deal with it with the staff there.
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