F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #1 
Dd is 17 and diagnosed with bulimia. Purges multiple times a day and takes 15+ laxatives every night. She doesn’t suffer with AN but is very obsessed with eating ‘clean’ and vegan and lives of fruit and seeds and the like although this is nowhere near as big of a problem as the bulimia. She is now losing weight because of the clean eating but previous binging as part of her bulimia made her overweight and I’m not sure if that plays a part in what’s happened. I found out several months ago about her bulimic habits - and to my devestation found out they had been going on since she was eleven ( what moron sells laxatives to an eleven year old child ??!! thank god they now have age restrictions) and made her go to the doctors. She was diagnosed, referred to eating disorder services and had blood tests done. A few days later we were called in because of abnormalities in her blood test. However she then decided I wasn’t allowed in to the appointments and the GP agreed it was her right to decide. In that appointment she cancelled her referral to the eating disorder services and refused to give blood again. And there was nothing I could do . So now I’ve had to go about for the past few months knowing this is happening and powerless to help her . She insists that going to the doctors scared her into stopping it but it’s an obvious lie. What power do I have in this situation? Surely this can’t be it ? I also maybe should mention how busy and run into the ground she is which definitely makes everything worse and she is like a walking zombie . Full time school (albeit only for 1 more week) 22 hours part time job and 15 hours dance ( which she pays for so I cant stop ) and parties every weekend . She’s never in the house but has admitted to purging in public toilets and at work etc

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Posts: 3,955
Reply with quote  #2 
It sounds as though your daughter is very ill and desperately needs help and an interruption to her behaviours. At the same time she clearly is living very intense lifestyle. 
Depending on where you are your ability to manage be involved in her care and have access to any medical information will vary. If she is living at home though then you do have control over what you are supplying for her and when she turns 18 whether she has a roof over her head, that is you have some leverage.  

In some countries there are different rules for consent to treatment versus treatment refusal. Ironically often they are permitted to consent at a younger age than they can refuse treatment. 
In all countries you are free to offer information to a health professional if you are concerned about even an adult. That adult does not need to give consent for you to share that information about them. The health professional however is often prevented from sharing information with you unless there is specific consent, and the age that this happens varies. 
All countries have compulsory treatment laws of some sort or another, but their application varies widely. 

D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.

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Posts: 2,125
Reply with quote  #3 
Hi caram,
the law is different in each country so it would help us if you can tell us where you are.
There are countries where she is allowed to refuse treatment until a certain point is reached (life threatening situation).
There are countries where she is not allowed to refuse treatment under 18.

What are your possibilities?
Who pays for laxatives? Where does she get them from?
Who pays for her party life and how does she get there? If she has a car, who pays for it? Is there anything you could use for leverage?
Who buys the vegan/healthy food? I often experience that parents want to stop ED but do the opposite by buying all these low fat products because they say "better she eats that than nothing." No. You should not work with ED and buy what ED wants.

d off to University now 22 months after diagnose, still doing FBT and relapse prevention 
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