Well, after you drink your wine here are a few things to think over:
Your daughter is 14 and she is not in charge. You are.
I would suggest that you stop weighing her at home and have her blind weighed at the dr. once a week or so. Hide the scale where she cannot find it.
I hope you don't think that I am presumptuous but I refed on a vegetarian diet and here is some sample menus of meals we prepared. The veganism needs to stop, since she will not be able to eat enough fats to help her brain heal. It is also better if she starts eating fish again, since fish has some oils which also are beneficial to brains.
smoothie: whole milk, full fat yoghurt, a dash of vanilla, some ground almonds, a banana, some strawberries, a few tablespoons of honey and a few ice cubes. Blend.
oatmeal: cook oatmeal in water but then add heavy cream, butter, nuts, raisins and brown sugar.
eggs: scrambled with cheddar cheese/homefried potatoes with butter/oil.
croissant with cheddar cheese
vegetable quiche with spinach or asparagus. Saute veggies, add full fat plain yoghurt, some full fat milk, grated cheddar cheese, 4 eggs in store bought pie dough, and bake for 35 minutes.
Serve with juice.
Add dessert: strawberries with heavy cream and sugar on top.
Tuna and mayonnaise, with celery, onion and carrots chopped up and put in the tuna on good bread with potato chips on the side.
Caprese sandwich, fresh mozarella, sundried tomato and fresh basil on good hero roll with olive oil and balsamic vinegar drizzled on it. Sliced Avocado and sliced cherry tomatoes with salad dressing to accompany it.
Grilled cheese sandwich with tortilla chips on the side.
grapes for dessert
Salmon baked with butter.
Asparagus roasted in the oven with olive oil and grated parmesan cheese.
Rice with benecalorie
Dessert: slice of fruit pie
beans, rice, sour cream, avocado, grated cheese and salsa
Assortment of veggies stir fried in olive oil. Add cashew nuts and sprinkle some sesame oil on it at the end of cooking.
Cook rice then add benecalorie for added calories.
dessert: lemon bars
Ravioli: buy the highest calorie ravioli you can find and then serve it with pesto. (basil pine nuts and olive oil and you can add benecalorie to the pesto also)
Macaroni and Cheese: cook macaroni and then mix with lots of cheese and heavy cream. Sometimes it tastes good if you use a few different cheeses. Cheddar and smoked gouda together for example. Bake. Top with some breadcrumbs sauteed in butter 15 minutes before taking it out of the oven.
Soups: I made a corn and potato soup with heavy cream and milk to which I added benecalorie, and served with bread and butter.
Chili: beans, smartground, canned tomatoes, chili spices. Serve on rice. Top with sour cream and grated cheddar cheese. Benecalorie can be added to this also.
snacks: granola bars
chips and salsa
Go out to the store and buy all sorts of snacky foods and leave them in a prominent place around the kitchen. Chips, cookies, all the sort of things your d. probably won't eat right now. Serve some of them for desserts. What happened was that as we went on, my d. went from not wanting to eat any of those things but then started to help herself to some of these things. Also it is very important to not have any diet foods in the house. Full fat milk, no lo calorie anything, etc. Also make the transition from water to juice and insist that she drink a caloric drink with every meal. Take up the fight if necessary.
Be really firm yet kind and compassionate. You are in charge. Start cooking up a storm and serving it. Redirect any talk of calories or weight with her. I had my d. take multivitamins and super vitamin b also, since there are b vitamins which are in meat which you don't get as a vegetarian.
You can do it. Your daughter needs you to help her whether she likes it or not.