Good afternoon fellow ED parents and caregivers,
My 13 yo daughter has a diagnosed severe eating disorder with anorexia. We started treatment recently with a very competent and accomplished psychologist at Drexel University in Philadelphia, but she has been extremely resistant to going to the psychologist. She is resistant to any family intervention whatsoever at home. We have had multiple conflicts when trying to implement an eating plan or make any changes to her diet under the guidance of her psychologist. She now refuses to go to the psychologist and would rather have the medical doctor follow her (which I know is just another tactic to avoid treatment). She will not take medication prescribed by the psychiatrist (Remeron, which was too low dose in my opinion, then she stopped taking it). Currently, she is restricting during the day (probably eating 1000 calories a day) but is also gaining weight slowly, so there 's a possibility she is engaging in binge-eating as well. She's a vegetarian (rest of the family is not), has no dairy or meat, and has not had her period in more than a year (she had reached menarche at age 11).
Since she is not seeing the psychologist, taking her medication and any talk of treatment sends her over the edge, I have secretly been in contact with the closest eating disorder facility that is covered by our insurance as well as well the most renowned in our area. This ED facility declined an inpatient admission (saying she did not meet “medical necessity”), but have recommended their IOP that runs 9a-3p M-F. They do not provide transportation to where we live. This facility is 1 hour from where we live, but I am willing to take the time off of work and take FMLA so she can get the treatment she needs. The psychologist thinks that once they see how reluctant she is and the level of her restriction and inability to see the severity of the ED, they will likely recommend inpatient admission anyway.
Now my anxiety is coming from her intake appointment for the IOP tomorrow. Although I think she knows (she snoops in my planner and notes on my desk) I am 200% sure the conversation about the IOP will not go well. I have asked her psychologist for guidance, but my daughter can be very cruel and manipulative towards me (which I know is normal in her position), so I am looking for some tried and true (or untrue, for that matter) techniques any of you have used in this situation for an unwilling teen starting an ED program. Any and all support is appreciated. Ideas on how to make the 1 hour drives go by are also appreciated