F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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AJmom
First, thank you to everyone who responded to my first post. It has been heartwarming.

We are about to start FBT with our 13 year old and I keep thinking about what she does all day if she cannot be active, spend time with friends who are not good influences on eating and needs to be monitored. I don’t want her sitting around obsessing even more about food. Any good ideas? Anyone try art therapy? 
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debra18
Puzzles, art projects, music lessons, DVDs to learn another language, iPad ( there are many educational games on iPad like word puzzles) painting, pets, bop it, board games, card games, reading books, writing poems, and keeping a journal.
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sandie
Netflix- we bought tv for bedroom as D had to limit use of stairs. I had to spend most of day and night for several weeks keeping her company.

As she got stronger- drives to cafe for lunch, cinema. Or just drives to get out of house. Phased in school- work with me at home once she was strong enough. She did not have concentration to do herself.

It was really important for D to have a friend visit sometimes to keep in contact with her peers.
Courage is not the absence of despair; it is rather the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair
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US_Mom
I second Netflix. It saved us! Knitting, crocheting, painting, audio books, walking the dog.
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HopeNZ
Binge watching all seasons of Friends, Big Bang Theory...
Grown up colouring books while listening to music
Listening to TED talks
My d made dozens of dear little pompom puppies while in hospital which she ended up giving to kids who shared her room, the nurses etc
She also taught herself part of her chemistry syllabus using Khan academy and google... while she didn't have the concentration for a sustained conversation she was determined not to fall behind in schoolwork
Scrabble
A journal
Writing old-fashioned snail mail letters to extended family
...
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Mamaroo
My d crocheted and played on the iPad. She discovered a pet caring app and took care of her pets. Sometimes they became ill and needed medicine which cost real money. For months she just ate to keep her virtual pets healthy, I loved that app 🤭
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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ValentinaGermania
We had great progress with self esteem and make her feel "worth" something with giving her house work to do. She did the laundry and helped me cleaning up. We also found it helpful to make her learn new things with hubby, like changing the wheel of a bike or repairing something in the house (she was the first girl in her group that had a drilling machine in her hand). It helped her to do something with her hands and to learn new things to keep her brain busy with non ED stuff.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Mcmum
TV here too. It felt very odd to spend what was a gorgeous summer indoors watching film after film but a. our son had no interest in anything b. we had to try to stop him from moving c. everything else was too stressful and resulted in a meltdown. 
As you get further into refeeding you might find that you can do more - card games, crafts and so on but if you need to watch 10 hours of TV a day, do. It's not forever.  
I remember returning to work and people asking whether we'd had a good summer....
Just go with survival and try to stay sane xx
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Stella
Love this thread as we are in refeeding as well and also wondering how to survive this summer. What we did up till now (our son is twelve): adding plenty of mobile time (without social networks and google)! He also enjoys helping with easy household issues like laundry and cleaning. Today I had him vacuum our sofa between the cushions since I am very confident that he's responsible for most of the crumbs there...
He likes handicraft work - here we still need to find something "cool" which is also suitable for our living room.

As his brain seems to recover thankfully he started reading again last week - so lot of books came into the house as well. I feel that he needs some structure, so Monday to Friday 8-12AM mobile shall be off and he has to work on something "useful" for at least 30-45 minutes within this time, such as stuff for school or 10-finger-typing. He also has to practice his instrument during these mornings.

TV became our friend during meals (got a new one for the kitchen), younger brother enjoys it as well...
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ValentinaGermania
"I feel that he needs some structure"

That is really an important fact, Stella! A lot of structure and not much time alone with their thoughts is best distraction. Keep them busy like a 2 year old toddler that should not get "bad ideas"...🙂

It is so funny that all ED families in the world seem to watch the same series...what would we have done without Big bang theory and the others?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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debra18
No TV here Tina. My daughter also did typing lessons and she helped her younger brother with Legos. She almost finished all of the books in the library. Not sure what she will do when that happens.
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ValentinaGermania
debra18, I can only raise my hat. Not only that amount of children to care for and that without TV?
Not that we were the big TV users before AN moved in but NO WAY we would have survived that without TV!
You are definitiv my warrior of the day!!!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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debra18
Tina, when it comes to ED whatever works that's what people should do. Health is the most important. But I think its worth thinking about developing hobbies and self confidence outside of TV. But only at a healthy weight when they have attention span for that.
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melstevUK
Jigsaws!
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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Stella
I have another one: had son create the fotobook for grandma I promised to make long ago. Three persons happy. :-)
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Mcmum
Ooh yes, Lego and any other fiddly instruction based assembly kits. When his brain came back, reading and guitar. 
We watched lots of disaster movies as only these seemed more engaging than the disaster we were living in 😀
Agree that gentle socialising with friends was really helpful when the time is right.  Avoided extraneous people in the early days as they seemed to magnify the problem!
After a long time we were able to reintegrate team sports but that was a no-no for an age.
Hats off to those without TV. 
Another one : finger knitting for restless hands.
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Ellesmum
We did lots of cinema trips, pampering at home with facepacks and nails, trips to coffee shops, watched endless comedies.  It was a very hard summer to be honest but my mind has filtered out the worst and I remember sunny days too. 
Ellesmum
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