F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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deenl
Hi everyone,

Our son is eating much better. Increasing calories every day [thumb] And we have plenty of distraction during the day which is mostly working but, of course, lying in bed at night the ED thoughts are giving him hell and he doesn't get to sleep for hours [tounge2]

I have two questions
  1. Roughly how long did the really horrible and intense thoughts last? In other words, when is it likely the thoughts will ease off a notch or two?
  2. What did you do to help you kid at bedtime?
Many thanks in advance,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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skechers
Perhaps something to help him sleep. I'm a big believer in Benadryl. (I've recommended it so much on this forum I'm considering asking the company to pay me for my endorsements). It's an easy, effective, over the counter, non-habit forming sleep aid, and it can also help with anxiety a bit.
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mamabear
A nice hot bath with bath salts.
Heated blankets or heating pad.
Weighted blankets seem to help people a ton.

I slept with my daughter for over a year. I would lay next to her and we would do imagery exercises. She liked to design dresses at the time do we would imagine a dress for the Oscars down to minute detail... Or describe a place etc.

We also did progressive relaxation. Tighten your eyes and hold to 5, release. Tighten your jaw, release, your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, belly, pelvis, thighs, calves... Then tighten up whole body and release. Also while doing this we inhale through the nose and out through the mouth.

My daughter had a very severe exercise conclusion for the first few months and could not sleep as Ed would make her arch her hips off of the bed and engage her abs etc. there were many nights I literally put my leg over her and wrapped her in my arms while we did relaxation and imagery. I didn't sleep much.... For years.... It took about 4 months and 25 pounds for her to be able to fall asleep easier at night. Panic attacks went away as well as the exercise obsession.
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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Sotired
We found 5mg of olanzipine worked the best.she took it an hour before bedtime and it worked a treat.slept easily and right through.
Sotired42
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Psycho_Mom
Hi,

I told my d stories or did guided meditations. I think just the sound of my voice and knowing I would be there until she fell asleep helped.

Also, all the usual things that help a person sleep. Consistent bedtime, no electronics an hour before bedtime, etc. Also getting enough sleep helps a person get to sleep. I mean, my d has to get up at 6 for school so for a while there I made her go to bed at 9:30, and she was 16 yrs old. But it helped.

I think it also helped her with lots of symptoms to normalize it:I told her that lots of other sufferers had this symptom, and it did get better and go away.

best wishes,
D diagnosed with EDNOS May 2013 at age 15, refed at home Aug 2013, since then symptoms gradually lessened and we retaught her how to feed and care for herself, including individual therapy, family skills DBT class, SSRI medication and relapse-prevention strategies. Anxiety was pre-existing and I believe she was sporadically restricting since about age 9. She now eats and behaves like any normal older teen, and is enjoying school, friends, sports, music and thinking about the future.
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Bottle
We had 10 days of Olanzapine before it was pulled due to another separate issue but that was enough to kick her brain out of that bedtime cycle of symptoms and allow her to sleep-luckily the cycle didn't start up again once the med stopped.
Definitely would go with a sleepy time med - our D would never engage with relaxation techniques, breathing techniques or anything like that & still won't x
Bottle
D2 RAN as part of Pervasive Refusal Syndrome with a history of not walking for a year and being non verbal for a short while too. Considered to be Aspergers by everyone that has worked with her and by us but still awaiting a diagnosis that'll help us access support services she needs.
D1 recovered RAN and D3 doing pretty well considering the mayhem around here!
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PuddleduckNZ
We had huge problems with sleep and nightmares and insomnia the first year or so.

We tried all sorts.

Mediation music
Ordinary music
Wheat bags
Lavender oil infuser
Cats (on the bed every night to pat and breath slowly with)
Reading to him.
Talking about the future.
Epsom salts baths before bed.

The med Olanzapine dampened all this right down, he started this on his 2nd admission a year later and it was such a useful med to stop the ruminating night time thoughts and give a restful sleep. It seemed to help with eating a little too.

Son 9yrs when he became unwell 2013, ED slide from April 2014, dx at 10yrs July 2014, 2 hospitalisations - dx so many times Behavioural Anorexia, EDNOS, ARFID. FBT from August 2014. Anxiety, Emetophobia. 13.5yrs old now! In recovery, gets better every day with constant vigilance, life returns.
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spring
Not sure if this helps,

My D is now home and wr after 4 months IP.  Before IP she struggled to sleep.
On her first night at home, I read to her and lay beside her until she fell asleep.  We have just kept doing this.
This seems to be the time of day she will tell me what is bothering her. We talk and then I keep reading.

Spring
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deenl
Thanks everyone for all the replies. 

We already have most of the sleep hygiene practices in place; routine, same time, no screen, etc.

Unfortunately, when he is most tormented by the ED thought/feelings he totally rejects us so reading, relaxation techniques or simply being with him aren't possible just now. I am thinking of getting a relaxation technique on youTube or something. Anyone know any good ones?

From all that I am reading Olanzapine would be really helpful to him for many reasons but beeping psychiatist won't prescribe it because it causes weight gain. FFS I think that must take top prize for the stupidest F'ing thing the idiot has ever said. S has a BMI of 11! We are already on our third psychiatrist and if I can't talk her around we will be looking for no4!

We are making progress - he is talking to us more and connecting with us again sometimes so we are on the right path.

Thanks again,
D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
Quote
schnook
My s has his melatonin then listens to an audiobook to fall asleep.

I'm not particularly troubled by distressing thoughts at bedtime, but I don't wind down easily either. I find it best to stay busy-in-the-brain doing something enjoyable (rather than lying there getting agitated), so I sit up and do very engaging mathematics at my desk until my bedtime, then I lie down and listen to an audiobook until I'm asleep.

Young s likes to listen to Tolkien at bedtime ATM. We also have a heap of free classics read by volunteers at librivox. I like lectures from the Great Courses and learning languages via Pimsleur audio books, both of which I purchase from Audible.

I hope this has given you some ideas. x
Working hard at meal support and WR for an anxious and food avoidant 6yo
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