F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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panjtan
Hi my dears,

I don't know how I can contact my daughter therapist to inform her my concerns. the Psychiatrist here has increased Colonazepam per her request to help with anxiety, and this has caused her to be manic and also having suicidal thoughts. I had to come to WA to help my daughter, after she left CA for a job. After a relapse  several years ago, now she is in her lowest weight again just like the first time she was malnourished.

She has been under a huge amount of stress for teaching job, and so many issues. Last week she had food poisoning symptoms. In emergency room she did not give consent for me as usual. But I told them what ever I needed to and her history. 
She has lost a lot of weight and is sick. This last virus illness  made her condition worse.
Anyone here for support? I have called ERC in Bellevue, that the only way she can get some weight back, but she needs to call by herself [frown]
 
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AUSSIEedfamily
Dear panjtan,

From my experience clinicians are not prevented from hearing your voice and written words to describe your concerns about your daughter.

You could possibly create your own medical history file for her and present that to the treating clinicians and teams.

You can send it electronically or in hard copy to the therapist or to the organisation the therapist works for attention that therapist. You can also mark the file as Confidential/Private & Legally Privilaged so as to protect you from being identified as the source of the information just incase if your D discovered you had provided the info she got upset.

One of the things you might also include in the file is information about US of A and International medical guidelines for the treatment and care of Anorexia and particularly about the inclusion of family even when the person (actually the illness) is resistant to family involvement.
ED Dad
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panjtan
Hi ED DAD,

Thank you for your quick response and guidance. Her therapist doesn't show any email address anywhere on line.  I texted her cell and asked if I can have her email to send important info about my d. She has not answered yet.

I will make a file and will send to her, If I find her email address.

What about the "subject" of the email to her? "Confidential" is enough or I have to add any other words?

Thank you for reminding me for the linguine. Is it USA and international guideline? I will check on it.

Thank you so much.

I have been checked in and out of a hotel close to her apartment. When she is herself for a short time she asks me to check out and she would never let me be a hotel.

ED has kicked me off of her apt just because I made some soup for her and asked her to have some Gatorade for electorate balance. 

It is so tough and ED is totally controlling her. I miss my d very much. She needs my help.
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panjtan
Dear ED dad,

I could not find the exact part of the guidelines. Is it possible to send me the link your were talking about when you can? 
Thank you

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AUSSIEedfamily
Here are a couple of links

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng69


https://www.aedweb.org/learn/resources/patient-carers

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/CR189_a.pdf


http://scghed.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/DRAFT-guide-incorporating-feedback.pdf

https://www.ranzcp.org


https://www.yourhealthinmind.org/mental-illnesses-disorders/eating-disorders
ED Dad
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sk8r31
Hi  Panjtan,

I believe AussieEDfamily is referring to the Academy of Eating Disorders Medical Care Standards booklet.  You will find the link here.  Also on that same page are links to the booklet in various other languages.

I'm so sorry that you are in such a difficult situation at present.  However, you are able to share information about your d and your concerns with treatment providers, even though they may not share your d's info with you.  That can definitely help them when treating your d.

In the subject line of an email to a treatment provider,  do NOT include your d's name, but something like 'current patient info' or similar which does not identify your d.

Sending warm support,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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panjtan
Thank you so much ED dad for all the links, and sk8r31 for your reply. 

My daughter clinicians don't show email addresses on line, but I know their phone number.

What would you do in this situation? If I call them it will be voice mail. I sent text and asked them to send me their email addresses, for some reason they haven't got back to me yet.

Any advice?  I am just staying in a hotel close to my d apt, and don't know how to help her.

She is so weak and very irrational.. She even wants to drive all the way to Spokane to see her friend in weekend and for xmas ! [frown]  

My husband told me to get back to CA. I don't know how to inform her therapist and psychiatrist know about her need to go to a treatment center. She needs high level of care, but they  calm her down with medicine only and some therapy. She needs nutrition. 
I feel so helpless. I hate ED ..





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ValentinaGermania
Hi,
is there any social system or insurance you can ask for help?
Is there any therapist or doctor who knows your d from earlier times and can call her therapist "from expert to expert"?
If there is no Email, is there a normal adresse where you can send a normal letter?
Can you simply go there and wait for an emergency talk? Can you have an appointment there for yourself and say you need help because you don´t know how to cope with that?
Just some ideas, I hope you will get through to it soon.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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sk8r31
Tina has given you some good suggestions.  I like the one about actually going to the therapist's office, and handing her the info.  

It would be hazardous for your d to drive to Spokane.  The mountain pass at this time of year can be quite dangerous, and apart from that, in her weakened state she is not fit to drive.

Could you manage to get her to come back to CA with you for the holiday?  Or would your h fly up to Seattle, and you could manage together with your d for Xmas?

I know it must be so difficult at present; sending you strength & support.

Warmly,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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panjtan
Tina72,

Thank you for your thoughtfulness, and reply.  My d is 25 and the previous clinicians won't do that. She never authorized me / signed to release her medical record. I have only the address and phone. I think the only choice would be a letter to the the address. I wish my husband could come over, but I haves another daughter in CA.. It's a tough situation.

My daughter ( the ED) never wants to go back to CA even for Holidays. Ed is taking over her and she can not make right decisions. She is loosing her job as music teacher, since she got stressed out at work. She did an awesome job with a challenging school with very low budget for music, and not appreciative of music. She lost even more eight and now wants to stay here to find another job! 

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panjtan
sk8r31

Yes that's the only choice I have. She is not realistic and doesn't listen to our warning about not going to Spokane!!!! When your child is an adult it's not easy to take care of them[frown]

I need prayers from all please
..
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sk8r31
Sending warmest support to you.  This is definitely a challenging situation.  As you know, your d cannot think clearly while her brain is malnourished.  

Is there any way you could manage to stop her from driving to Spokane?   Perhaps offering a bus ticket as a gift?  I think it is way too risky to have her driving in dangerous winter conditions when her health is so impaired.

If she has lost her job, how is she able to support herself?  It may be that you have some financial leverage that can get her into a good evidence-based treatment program.

Hang in there,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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Foodsupport_AUS
This is such a difficult situation for you. It is good that your D has at least let you know that she was in trouble even if she is refusing her providers to give you information. 

Since you have an address and telephone, I would be printing out a copy and personally delivering the information if they are relatively near by. Email as a communication method can be great, but if you are sending a significant volume of information it can be more difficult to read. Since you are not a patient they may also be disinclined to giving you that email information. 

Many websites don't list emails as it promotes spam, a problem that affects us here on FEAST too. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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mjkz
I'd be sending her employer a letter about how sick she is and how much she needs treatment.  I'd be sending the same to her treatment team.
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