F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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I_can Show full post »
I_can
I talked to my d last night.  She got a medical leave for fall semester from the University,  no loss of credits, etc.  This was news to me.  Her therapist and MD, at the university, advised her to do so.  She is planning to move out to the nearby city (15-20 miles from home) and live there.  She will not comply or agree to any type of contract here.  She is getting loans for her tuition.  My developmentally disabled daughter is a big stress here at home.  My d has her MD, a specialist in ED, at the university, and two counselors, one at the university and one she has seen off and on for years.  She ate a big breakfast this a.m.  I want to make her completely well but with my DD children, her super independence streak, etc., it might be best for her to go.  So things are in flux - boo hoo with some hope.
Deb
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I_can
P.S.  If she goes I will pay for her rent after she gives me a normal potassium result and proof of attending therapy once per week.
Deb
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Torie
I_can wrote:
If she goes I will pay for her rent


Why???

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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I_can
I would pay for her rent when she gives me a normal potassium result and proof she went to a therapist once a week.  That is more than she is giving me now. She lived in her university city second semester of first year and she was in IOP.  At that time I did the same paid her rent after a normal potassium result. Her potassium was all normal then and I don't know what it is now.  Plus I would get her out of the house where she will not comply with any contract and we fight.  But truthfully I do not know the right answer.  Any thoughts?
Deb
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Torie
I haven't had to deal with an unhealthy young adult, so this is from the "easy for you to say" department.  But I think I would do most anything I could to keep my d at home with me so that I could support her better.  ED is such a nasty master that I think they need firm opposition in the form of a parent to be able to overrule the ED thoughts and compulsions.  I'm sure those experienced with ya's will weigh in soon ... xx

-Torie


"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Kali
Hi I_can

My daughter's potassium was also totally fine on her blood work when I knew for A FACT that she was purging. 

I can speak to being the parent of a 21 year old because I am. I'd say that we might be very happy to help with a security deposit and perhaps a first month's rent when he wants to get his first apartment after college graduation; however we would not be paying his rent as an ongoing arrangement. He would need to do that on his own. Of course during college we have been paying his rent.

Sorry you are going through such a tough situation. It does not sound as though your d is at a dangerous weight however you are concerned about the purging and you and she are not getting along. Are there any ways you can think of to improve your relationship? 

I know you say you want her to eat three meals a day and not to purge, and to be in treatment. Is she more likely to be able to do this if she is living on her own, when she is having trouble managing this while at home? I know these are tough questions and this is a tough situation and my heart goes out to you as you also have other children to help.

Kali

Food=Love
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