F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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I've written and deleted about 3 times over the last week...because I keep goofing up. The stress of the holidays and trying to keep things light for younger sibs, has left us with a bad schedule, etc. Not sure why I'm writing now, just so frustrated with myself and this surreal life we are living now. I want to trust her, but I know I shouldn't. I have to button things up again, but I just don't want our Christmas to be awful. I'm still not done with the shopping and have to also get to groceries... Plus my pms emotions to boot.
I know exactly where you're at and know how you feel.  ED is so horrible in how it changes our family dynamics and is relentless and is so unfair.  I think it's important for you to remember that you can't control ED and when it will flare up so keep doing the things that you do have control over.  You know how to feed your D and you know that eventually the food will help heal her brain and things will get better.  Sometimes I have to tell myself "just do the next right thing" to get through a day.  Sometimes to just get through the next hour. 

Give yourself a break as far as all those Magical Christmas Expectations go and just realize that your younger kids will be happy that you're all together and they'll be OK.  Do what you can and do the best you can and remember that it's good enough!  If you need to go cry by yourself in the bathroom, then allow yourself to do that.  It will be OK.  I will be thinking good thoughts for you! 
D, 15, DX with AN 8/2013. Has been WR since 7/2014.
This vile illness sucks.  Big time.  Can't remember when I've been as unhappy with myself as this past month ... I just cannot seem to do what I need to do in so many many ways for so many different people.  Sorry to use your rant thread for my own rant, but I've been meaning to start my own, and I'm not sure the forum needs another rant thread right now.

Rant away ... we all understand.

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Indeed we do understand. A combination of the stuff hitting the fan for my d and crazy issues with my h's family have put me in a bah humbuggy mood. I think not every holiday can be of the Hallmark type...some are better than others. So you can't have a better one without a lousy one. So open what presents you have, get some Amazon gift cards for what you don't, and order Chinese for Christmas dinner. And stop putting all that pressure on yourself to be the one to make things perfect.