F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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admum
Discovered uneaten lunch in the bin. D 16 ( dx Ednos restricting and purging) and BDD 2015/2016 recovered 2016 and discharged July 2017 from ED and declared recovered from BDD August 2017. Weight higher than had ever been. Eating well. Saw some BDD and anxiety recently but thought ED was in the past. D also has ASD so anxiety a given. D admitted has been dumping lunch. Handed over some hidden lunchboxes from her drawers. Not lost weight. Feel sick. I thought we were doing so well. She had also school refused for some of year 10 and year 11 but managed to get her EHCP and into small independent college with small class sizes this year. For sixth form. She has gone to college most days, some anxiety but not levels of previously. I’m out of energy
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EDAction
Dear admum,

I'm so sorry that this is happening again.  My heart goes out to you when you say "I'm out of energy".  I understand.

But you're not back to square 1, right?  It sounds like in the big picture she's made huge strides over the last few years.

Is she living at home while attending classes at the small college?  And am I right that she has not lost weight?
DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
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admum
Keep telling mysel that we are not back to square 1. I don’t think she has lost weight. I had been concerned that she had gained too much weight but hadn’t raised it with her telling myself that it would even out. She’s not overweight - still a uk size 8. I haven’t weighed her. The hospital had said not to once she was WR. I encouraged her to go beyond what they said and that’s when she seemed to make the big improvements with her MH. She says she isn’t purging. I’m now watching her very closely. She is living at home. She has found the transition to a new school v stressful but likes the small class sizes.
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Foodsupport_AUS
Sorry for the set back, I agree  it sounds like far from being back to square one. It does suggest that she is being compelled by her thoughts to dump her lunch, even if she is an appropriate weight, but it is also possible she has lost. I guess back to the assessment stage work out what is happening and get some support back. Slips and trips are common with these illnesses. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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admum
Yes you are right. It’s a slip not a full blown relapse.. she seemed relieved that I knew. She put one of the lunches in her bin which I found and others hidden rotting in her drawers when she could easily have thrown those in the bin. I think she wanted me to find them.
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tina72
Hi admum,
maybe this was a little cry for more help. She wanted you to find them because she wanted to tell you that she still needs your help and is in some stress with lunch. Try to talk to her about what was the problem. Maybe somebody said something to her about her lunch or something else happened. Sometimes it is just a little sentence ("oh, you really need to eat that much?") that throws them back.
Hope you get her back on path soon.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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WTadmin