Hearing this a lot lately.
Here's the story: my roomate and I found each other and came to room together through a shared diagnosis of PTSD. It has been highly beneficial to us both in terms of the peer support it offers. However she has been going downhill for months, getting worse and worse, in my mind somewhat abruptly. Last week we got her in to see a therapist we both have a relationship with, who also is one of the state's leading experts in EDs. She came back with a diagnosis and we rushed to get her on a waiting list for inpatient the same day. On the one hand I am understandably relieved as much of the backsliding I've had to watch her go through is now explained. On the other hand, we had built up quite a rapport over time and suddenly it is all gone. We have a week to go before she can get in to treatment and get the help she needs. I feel like I should be relieved but there are things to discuss: how to prepare, and how to pay for the treatment. She is estranged from her parents whom she has had an extensive abusive relationship with. Going to them for money would be a disaster, but when we talk about other options, all I hear from her is, "I don't want to talk about it right now."
Well, ok. When then?
It doesn't help me that my father committed suicide while waiting to go to treatment for PTSD. Two days before he was set to leave in fact. I realize we are in the home stretch here but some things need to be talked about and when I get hit with that line, "I don't want to talk about it right now," I can't help but be scared to death. I don't have much left in the way of family now but I love this girl as much as any of them, and more than most. She is the little sister I never had. Then I read the statistic about EDs and suicide. She has discussed suicide with me before, as have I with her. It is common for PTSD sufferers to occasionally go there. But at this stage, in these circumstances, I don't know what to do here. I remember my mom during my father's final weeks, and how she couldn't sleep a wink. She did everything she could to get him safely into treatment. In the end I know her vigilance didn't matter, but I don't want to lose another person I love this way. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm smothering her and I know that doesn't help. But we have to talk about these things and her pulling away like this reminds me so much of Dad.
Anyway, I haven't slept enough, I can't think straight, and I need guidance. Any help is appreciated.