F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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EC_Mom Show full post »
It has been a long time since I posted an update. Formerly-ED d is happy and healthy and a normal eater at college, many thanks to this forum, 4 yrs after her terrible months of hospitalization, violent refusal of food, and all that RAN does to our kids. The forum was my lifeline back then. Thank you to present and previous posters.

Non-ED s, now age 14, took us on a different and also-miserable spiral into SI, SH, a year of school refusal, hospitalization, RAN-like phobias and freakouts but not about food, 911, hospitalization, and more. He now has had a year of high-quality residential care and is doing very well. We traveled a bumpy path with great disappointment in some of the treatment we tried. Now he's at a great place, has home visits, friends, and activities, is getting all As in school there, and it's sort of a boarding-school-like existence we have for now. 

Formerly-ED d apparently saved her roommate's life at college by calling the cops when the drunk and volatile roommate locked herself in the room with pills and a knife. One thing my kids are both familiar with, thanks to their own and each other's experiences, is psychiatric emergencies!

Non-ED s is not yet as healed as ED d. But it's better, it's a different kind of normal. I can only hope that he ends up as happy and healthy as formerly-ED d.
Thanks for the update EC_Mom. I'm so glad that your daughter is doing so well. Thank goodness you were able to find appropriate help for you son. It sounds like an even more difficult path than your daughter's. I hope that he continues to make progress. And I hope that you have been able to recovery for these years of demanding and challenging parenting.

Warm wishes,

2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
Wow, EC_Mom, your family has had quite a journey.  Thanks for posting this update - I seem to have missed your previous message (Dec 23), in which you said: "As hellish as refeeding was, at least there was something I could do, something I HAD to do, and as promised, all that feeding really made her better (slowly). That singular focus on feeding made it easier to ignore all the broken dishes, violence, craziness. With s's GAD it's more like whack-a-mole."

I have often thought that the one good thing about AN is the clear-cut goal of getting the weight up.  At least we know what we are trying to do there.  My ED-d and her sister both have been diagnosed with GAD, and we have never found anything useful to try or do.  I mean, we have tried things, but they haven't worked.  Luckily, their anxiety has not been TOO extreme so that they have been able to (at worst) muddle through and (at best) have good and seemingly normal stretches.

I hope you will tell us more about what has worked for your son.  Many here deal with anxiety either with our ED-kids or their sibs or (as in my case), both.

Good for you to have gotten both your kids to such a good place!  They did a great job picking their mom. xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Thanks for the good wishes. Torie, I wish I could say that meds and therapy and outpatient treatment here at home solved things for s. They didn't. Choosing residential care (again, this was NOT an ED kid) was really difficult, but there are excellent, wonderful options. I had thought that "wilderness therapy" was a kooky or boot-camp thing. It's not (obviously there exist programs that are kooky or boot-camp, but good and reputable ones are not that).  Meanwhile, the wilderness program we sent s to was amazing and transformative, and we should have done that 6 months earlier, rather than limping along as we did. Even *s* told me recently that we should have sent him to residential earlier. Likewise there are good and bad residential treatment centers for anxiety and other disorders. Number one starting point is to hire a reputable "educational consultant", which is someone who specializes in placing kids and young adults in programs. There are subspecialties in this field for substance abuse, trauma, spectrum, etc. The ed consultant costs a lot of money, but the treatment programs cost 10 times more, and a bad-fit placement is tons of money lost. 

Learning FBT and re-feeding is a big learning curve, as we all know here. Figuring out s's residential treatment has been a whole other learning curve.