F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Roseau Show full post »
Ooh, that is bad that you have no financial power about that. Who does need to pay back that loan if she gets too sick to continue to study or has to quite university for a gap year?

About the GP: that is no correct ED treatment, the doc needs to check her blood and her heart (orthostatic blood pressure) and she needs to be weighed regularly. I am quite sure that the doc does not know that she has an ED or is not familiar with that disease (both possible).
You are for sure correct that the doc does not need to talk to you and will not give you any information because she is adult. BUT: YOU can talk to him. You can send him an email for example and tell him your thoughts and what you think that needs to be done.
A lot of doctors do not know anything about EDs. Our pediatritian send us home 3 months before she broke down totally. She already had lost about 10 kg at that time and the doctors said to me that this is school stress and when she gets hungry she will eat again. What a joke!!!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hi Roseau,

What a dreadful situation you find yourself in.  That psychiatrist deserves to be shot or at least have a cluster of fireworks set off behind him.  Good heavens, what on earth is he thinking?
"all the specialists involved in her care have emphasised that it would be dangerous to try and prevent her self-harming completely but I need to get her to do it in the least dangerous way possible."   What kind of clinicians think it is acceptable to permit any type of self-harming behaviour and why are they not involved in trying to help her turn her life around?  Never in my life have I heard of anything so unprofessional and downright dangerous.

Do you at least know her bmi?  From what you are saying it must be 17 or lower - it doesn't matter what she looks like.  Your d is seriously ill and needs expert help.  Where are you situated?  Is there an eating disorders service in your area?  If you can phone them and get an urgent referral (explain what is happening), you can cancel the appointment with the psychiatrist that your d is currently under.  In England in general if you are under general psychiatry you can't be under a specialist service as well - but right now you need her to be under specialist services.  If you email me separately I can probably research who would be the best person to contact.  

What subject is she studying at university?  It would be worth trying to get hold of her course tutor and explaining the situation.  They do a lot of work online now but there must be occasional meetings with staff face to face.   

Email me separately if you want.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
I am sorry you are having such a rough time of things.  You sound as though you are really fighting for your daughter and struggling with the medical "professionals".  Regarding the vomiting, I watched my d violently vomiting a few years ago thinking she must have some terrible bug or something.  It only dawned on me later that she does not need to stick her fingers down her throat to endure vomiting and was an incredible actress.  I don't want to worry you unduly but ED is a master of trickery.  We too were told that because d's BMI was not below 17 that she did not have anorexia.  However, it only took a few weeks for them to change their minds as her weight plummeted.  Looking skinny is an effect of the illness and I just don't understand why the professionals don't get that.  We have been fighting for help and the only time we seem to get anywhere is when we get things down in writing.  My d signed a letter stating that the professionals could talk to me as she is over 18 - would your d do this?  I would also talk to tutors etc at university so that everybody knew the bigger picture.  Sending you big hugs x
cjac16 wrote:
We too were told that because d's BMI was not below 17 that she did not have anorexia.

That is an awful and really dangerous mistake. You can have anorexia at any weight. 25% of the patients were never underweight at all.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hi Roseau,

Sorry to hear about the situation you're in.

I might be able to offer you specific advice with regards to the exact GP practice and services your daughter is engaged with. I'm a UK university student myself and if my guess is right from what you've said (I won't say on here what makes me think that it's the same city, for the sake of maintaining your privacy), she might be at the same university as me. I know the services inside out here, can recommend which particular GPs are good etc. and offer more advice if I'm right. Feel free to drop me a message if there's any way I can help you x