Wow for all those ideas. Thank you all. As always, you've given me lots to think about and to build on. I am really grateful & feel a bit more ready for the next weigh day!
BMI is 17.2/45kg. I use Eva Musby's advice and tell her to trust me when she is very scared. I feel honour bound to keep to my word about not making wt gain too fast. D has terrible body dysmorphia & at times physically feels like she is expanding rapidly. It is such a fine line between caring for d and extinguishing AN.
Distracting d from crying by changing subject after sympathetic hmmm helped immediately last night. So simple yet so effective. Feel very silly not to have thought of it. Thank you for that.
The meltdowns are triggered by being weighed. She knows she has to wt restore but wants to do it slowly (!!) We weigh her 1st thing after getting up once a week. After being weighed, she flips, no matter what the scales say.
The 4-5 hours is between breakfast and doing snack. By 11 she has worked herself up into 'I'm not doing this anymore' & suicide talk. Eva Musby talk, hugs and love eventually get through but it takes my whole being & is so draining.I feel done in for the rest of the day & hardly able to respond when she seeks love & reassurance but maybe that's normal (& I dig deep & have a go.). In a calmer (exhausted) moment yesterday, she agreed to be weighed blind in future.
What soothes her is a walk or agreeing to take her for a swim or yoga but that is intrinsically wrapped up with ED. Exercise has been a huge problem to control in a girl that never did it unless forced pre-illness. We do walk an hour a day. It has been upped from a shorter walk when she was such a low wt. H takes her for an extra short walk when upset but I fear this is feeding into the illness. (Yrs ago at the start of the illness she used to insist on a walk after every meal and they got longer and longer & stopped being effective-typical AN, never ever enough.)
The scales said she'd put on over 2 kg last week (she tried to run away), this week she'd lost 300 gr. The perceived punishment was the reintroduction of extra food and not taking her for a short swim (which I did last week as she had increased by 2kg & felt she'd worked so hard & needed something to reward herself with.) As I write this I can see the dangerous waters I am swimming in re ED thinking! She has been increasing by just over a kg a week & freaks because it isn't exact, then flips. It is just blind fear of wt gain. Laura, I will re-read your words when I feel lost in the melt-downs. They are so clear & helpful.
The team consists of one therapist at an ED unit who consults with colleagues. Because of the postcode madness that reigns in the UK, she is new to this ED service. She was recently abruptly discharged from her last unit after being IP there. All disgraceful. The long journey & support session I did go to seeking FT (& getting a non-FT specialist muddling through) made everything worse. I had to run after crying d through streets & try to get her back to car & home. Felt very alone and let down by medical service which is sadly the case here...but I do feel all your support and expertise so am ready for the bully.