F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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strawdog Show full post »
ValentinaGermania
vooecwacw wrote:
Thank you all for sharing these info.  I am struggling with my d. who binges (eats too much, does not know when to stop and has gained so much weight)- thus Body image is a major issue with her.  She has gone to 2 Eating disorder centers, but does not follow the meal plans, is very discouraged due to weight gain, and has given up any hope of recovery.  She is getting ready for college, but since she is depressed too, i am not sure what to do to help her.  She is now 18, and is not functioning.  I am scared, since no form of therapy is helping her conditions.  Any suggestions?  I feel so alone and hopeless after almost 18 months of eating disorder treatments and therapies.  Any suggestions?


I also hope you open your own thread as you will get more traffic there and more replies, but as a mom of an also young adult d (mine is 20) I wont to tell you that you have some power left and can help her and can set rules although she is adult. I think she wants you to support her financially with college so if you think her state is not good enough you could refuse that and ask her to take a gap year and get help before. You could ask her to chose a college near your home and stay living with you so you can help her not to binge. Regular meals and no access to food is important to stop binging.
Did you already try FBT and help her at home?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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MKR
Hi @vooecwacw ,

I would use the Magic Plate. You serve a complete meal, no one is allowed to add or subtract from it. You then after 3 hours serve a filling snack (preferably something savory or some almonds and NO sugar, so she doesn't get a sudden high followed by a sudden drop). 3 hours later, a complete meal (Magic Plate) from you again and so on, to make up 3 full meals a day and snacks in between. 

Use lots of distractions in between these meals and snacks. Avoid supermarkets, food shops, food shows or cooking videos.  Do not allow skipping meals or snacks. 

Vegetables like lettuce or cucumbers keep one feeling full, as does soup for a starter. 

I am sharing this method from a friend who has overcome overeating and have found that it follows a similar structure to AN. They also attend an adult support group for ED.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Torie
I have read it is helpful to include a good mix of carbs fats and protein in each meal and snack to help minimize the urge to binge. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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MKR
MKR wrote:
Vegetables like lettuce or cucumbers keep one feeling full, as does soup for a starter. 


I meant to say, these should be a part of the full meal, along with carbs, fats and protein. Another filling vegetable is celery sticks with hoummus or peanut butter as the snack.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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kkhrd
Kali thank you for posting that video.  My D is currently doing a study with them at Columbia, with Dr Steinglass, so that was very interesting and helpful.  Strawdog, I will concur with everyone else, that you need to do what feels right for your D in the moment.  And take your cues from her.  My D is heading to college in the fall, she also has a 2 week trip planned to Europe in June, so I am super anxious about what will be coming up the road for us really soon, however she is taking baby steps in terms of control.  I am gently nudging her to be more proactive at home, but she feel most comfortable with me preparing and plating meals, and part of me believes that the reason for this is that it has become habitual for us, much like Dr Steinglass talks about in the lecture.  She and I have both made a habit of me taking charge of meals, which takes 100% of the pressure off of her.  When she is with friends for meals she knows what I expect of her and I imagine that can be really hard, but she is doing it, mainly from habit I think, habit and practice.  What we practice at home every day.  You know what is best!
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