F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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PurpleRain
So, we went to weight her, she is well above her historic curve, with 5 kg for cushion BMI 22 and something. She's been back to her historic curve (before "overshooting") since probably the end of June. My question is😃o I keep feeding her as I have? For how long? I was thinking maybe I can cut back the canola oil in the shake (and nothing else). Any thoughts??
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Mamaroo
I would go by state, not weight. Is she back to her old self, happy and not anxious? If something stressful happens, does she bounce back quickly (like forgetting school books)? Does she sleep well? Regular periods? Are there no more questions about what is in the food? No body image issues remaining? If you can say yes, then you can start trimming the calories, but keep an eye on her and as soon as you detect anxiety, hiding of food or other ED behaviours, then increase the food again.
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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ValentinaGermania
I started to take away the canola oil from the shakes but it was too much and she lost a pound in the following week. So I left it on half of the shakes and decreased it much slowlier. Today I do not add any more but my d is grown out and that is different.
You can try to cut back the "special addings" very slow but it is also possible that you will need to add them again because her metabolism might increase or she has a growth spurt. At age 13 she will need to gain until her mid 20s. Slowlier but steadily.

I would like to add that my d still eats same amount of calories as at the start of refeeding just to maintain her weight now by herself without secret addings and that she still needs to eat regularly and sticks to 3 meals 2 snacks until now to keep blood sugar constant. One meal skipped and AN will move in quite quickly again (within an hour when she skipped lunch last October).
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Yael826_
I hope I'm not being too optomistic but we did catch her eating disorder very early, and got her weight restored very quickly which according to our FMT therapist gives us good prognosis. She still tries to haggle a bit if she feels snack is too much or more then the day before which needs to improve before we start stage II. But she from beginning of WR ate everything and ate outside home in restaurants easily as well. Mood has improved significantly, no more insane frightening outbursts but has intermittent low/depressed mood. Psychiatrist didn't thing clinical and did not recommend meds. She does bounce back quickly for the most part from sad moods and generally is her happiest around  her friends. 
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sk8r31
It all sounds really great at present Yael826, well done you!  As tina suggests, you could 'tinker' a bit with the add-ins, and see how things go.  But as you will be fueling through the teen years, I expect that overall cal count will need to remain relatively high.  
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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PurpleRain
Thanks everyone for your  answers, she is alright state wise, not completely herself but she is13 so sometimes I'm not sure if it's ED or a teen thing. However she still asks sometimes if she needs to eat this or that and gets annoyed every once in a while, so this morning I added canola oil to the shake and will keep an eye on her state. It" s so good to be able to come here to ask! Thanks a lot.
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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ValentinaGermania
As long as there is ED behaviour left, keep adding and keep feeding. Some need to overshoot their former weight to get rid of all ED behaviour.
At age 13 you will never know if its is ED or puberty but as long as it has to do with food when she complains I would bet on ED...

This forum is really a life saver ...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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PurpleRain
Thank you Tina, it is a life saver indeed. And thanks for the yellow, green, red days/weeks idea it's been really useful! When is food related I'm pretty sure it's ED since she was never fussy, its when is not food related ( ac lothingn and so) that it confuses me but better to be cautious I guess
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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keeptrukin
When ED strikes around puberty (as it did with my S) it's kinda hard to distinguish behaviors that are teen-like from ED like, i.e., the kid will never be exactly like he/she was pre-ED because he/she is a moving target. That's just development, right? I think what told me our S was really past ED was when he was away from home and then came home and I said that his weight was too low (the food wasn't great where he was) and he said, "Yeah, I'm gonna eat extra this week to gain it back". He did it himself because he was anxious about ED coming back. He also willingly goes to a nutritionist so that she can track his weight and tell him if it gets too low. He has no interest in going back, so if he exercises too much or grows too fast, he gets right on the intake increases (usually higher calorie food instead of more quantity because that's easier for him). 
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PurpleRain
so I decided to keep the oil in the shakes for days when we sleep in (i decided to give a try to let her -and me!- sleep in on weekends) and days when we go out so i can be a bit more relaxed. on days when i know i can keep structure and rutine,  iwill experiment with less to no oil in the shakes. when we sleep in (or at least her) what I do is i feed her something every 2 hours so we keep the calories up and she knows if she wants to sleep late she needs an extra snack. so far so good (somtimes she gives me "the look" but she eats so i don´t mind
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Mamaroo
It's a step in the right direction to become more flexible. My 2 girls like to sleep in over the weekends, so I just add to breakfast. Glad to hear things are better now!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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PurpleRain
Thanks mamaroo one step at the time. We went to the park today (attractions park) it's hard to Keep structure so I gave I really rich breakfast and lots of snacks (big greasy ones like French fries with lots of liquid yellow cheese)all day long. It was stressful but fun, and then proper dinner and dessert when we got home, so all  a in all not a bad day.
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Mamaroo
I'm happy to hear you had such a good day out!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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PurpleRain
Just wanted to say, I'm still feeding her the same! Almost 9 months WR and she needs (almost) the same amount of food, with all the addings (butter, cream, HWC, canola oil, etc) just to maintain, she has grown but not that much vertically, weight distributed around 6 months WR, she is a bit above her growth curve and eating a lot! Everything is much more relaxed, we can all sleep in on weekends, but still 3 meals, 2 snacks (never did 3 as a rule, sometimes if needed), still cooking with add one, and having magic smoothie/milkshake every morning (except if she goes to a sleep over, we can be flexible).
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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