Over Christmas lunch, two of my sisters-in-laws commented not once, but several times, on how bloated their stomachs were after eating so well. Right in front of my d with AN they slid their hands over their slender tummies and declared how uncomfortable it felt to be so full. I sat there dumbfounded.
Both women have been involved in the care of my d and have listened to me vent for nearly 2+ years. So they cannot claim to be unaware of the impact that this commentary would have on my d. I confronted one s-i-l in the pantry out of earshot of my d. She said, "But surely she (my d) must hear this sort of thing at school and be used to it?" "Yes, but it's still not helpful", was all I could muster.
D fell down the rabbit hole of AN at age 11 after difficulty swallowing followed by rapid weight loss. Progressing well through recovery, but still climbing our way out of the hole.
Here I am 2 weeks later and I am still furious. Do I let this sort of stupidity go and just accept that it is going to happen even within our family? Or do I send them a heartfelt letter explaining why these sorts of body checking comments are unnecessary and counterproductive to the recovery of my d? Part of me wants to make them feel guilty as hell, but I know in my heart that to do so would be shaming them, and one cannot change behaviour through shame.