Hello, my wife and I are in need of advice. We both believe our 22 year old adult son has an eating disorder. For background he played football in high school as a lineman and was on the heavy side weighing 250 lbs and is 6'4" tall. After high school he went to college and began losing weight - - he counts calories and diets and runs regularly. We have noticed in the past year that he has lost alot of weight, can see his ribs through his skin when takes shirt off and he is likely 170 lbs now. His face is very gaunt. We think he purges his food after meals, because after every meal when he is home with us he goes to the bathroom and in some cases we have seen food particles in the toilet. We have also seen boxes/wrappers of sweets under left under his bed when he visits. Family and friends have commented on his weight loss and if he is alright. He does not live with us but visits us on weekends a couple times a month.
He has a twin brother who was a college athlete and although they get along, my son has always been jealous of his twin brother's physique.
My son is extremely bright, excelled in academics in college, and is doing very well in his first job after graduating. He is also very sensitive and thin skinned. He has a strong religious faith. He will almost assuredly deny that he has an eating disorder, but we see all the signs. He is also very money and time sensitive and would likely balk at going to any kind of therapy.
My wife and I are very worried. We want to know what the best approach would be in this situation and how to even bring the issue up to our son who we love very much.
Please feel free to share any advice you may have.