Imported from another thread:
Here are some really good ways out there to substitute for dairy during refeeding and beyond. This may not be where you are right right this second, but you will be at some point. I'll put this on the refeeding thread, too. Later.
You're probably already familiar with soy milk, tofu, tofu cheeses, tofu dairy desserts, etc. . .
Rice milk--neutral-tasting, good base for Instant Breakfast or shakes, etc. Can be used as milk in most cooking. If baking, you may need to use a bit more fat to make the recipe work right. Can also be gently cooked down (i.e., evaporating the water without scorching it) to thicken enough to use as a substitute for light cream in many dishes--aim for the consistency of evaporated milk or a little bit thicker. Nice in soups, potato dishes, mild sauces, egg dishes. If using to thicken a heavier sauce, consider tempering in egg yolks, too. If you don't already know how to do that, let me know--it's easy to do and fairly easy to explain.
Almond milk--Usually available in plain, vanilla, chocolate. Quite tasty on its own, plain version has almond taste, but it's still fairly mild. More body/thickness than rice milk. Any can also be used as drink, base for Instant Breakfast, smoothies, shakes, hot chocolate, etc. . . You can use the plain in cooking where the taste isn't a detriment. If you're cooking rice, use 1/2 plain almond milk for 1/2 the water. Use to thin mashed potatoes. It will work in muffin recipes, etc. Good fats, here.
Coconut milk--A good find frequently overlooked. Quite nutritious, tastes like coconut. Good by the glass--can be watered down a bit to dampen taste, but you dilute the good fats. (Medium chain fatty acids=big aid in various metabolic processes. We all lost a lot of medium chain fatty acids when tropical oils got vilified.) Quite heat-stable, use freely in recipes where coconut taste is a plus. Desserts, muffins, but also some sauces. Extensively used in Thai cooking and curries. Meat-wise tends to work better with chicken, fish, pork. Some brands are milder-tasting than others, it's worth experimenting with different brands wherever you think it might work. Find it on the Asian foods aisle or at the health food store--more brand choices at the health food store probably.
One big thing you want to think about for a malnourished person allergic to milk: Calcium and Vitamin D intake/absorption. You can give a calcium-magnesium supplement and get her out in sunlight most days--at least 30% of skin exposed without sunblock for ten to fifteen minutes in the summer in FL on a sunny day (noon is great, 10am-2pm if at all possible, people further from the Equator will need more) for a caucasian, probably twice that for a black-skinned person, somewhere in between for an olive-skinned person. They don't have to lie still and sunbathe on a towel, they can walk around, just be out of the shade, etc. . .
One can also take high-quality cod liver oil for Vit. D--it even comes in capsules, now. As far as I know, that's the most readily-available, bio-active, oral method, of boosting D intake, but compromised liver and/or metabolic function (nearly the rule in malnutrition, takes weeks or months to reverse) will mean that bio-usefullness/absorption is tough to gauge. The sunlight method of manufacturing Vit. D doesn't have to go though the stomach and the liver and is probably more straightforward.
We have a couple of nutritionists who may chime in here--I hope they do!