F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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scaredofmother
Husband agrees it’s fine??? My son gained 4 lbs on vacation. Heck, it’s probably water weight from diet change! What to do??? Don’t want this to spiral out of control! How to deal with my husband?
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Foodsupport_AUS
Given your son's tendency to violence and your husband's support of his behaviours perhaps offering a straight out no may not be the best plan. Perhaps raising with your husband your concerns that dieting and exercise are a risk for your son becoming more ill, and that 4lb in the scheme of things is something that ideally he should learn to tolerate. Is your son still in therapy?
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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ValentinaGermania
4lbs??? You are really having discussions because of 4 lbs? Did hubby read any books about AN?
4 lbs should be normal weight range and be accepted.
Stay strict with that. No diets for kids or still growing young adults.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Mamaroo
Children gain weight first and then grow into it. my h used to be husky when growing up, now he is very lean. Same with my d, she was chubby until ED show up. Now being back on her original weight (90%) and height (95%) curve she looks lean. In addition dieting can lead to being overweight later in life, see:  

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2016/08/18/peds.2016-1649

Here is a quote:
"Dieting. Dieting, defined as caloric restriction with the goal of weight loss, is a risk factor for both obesity and EDs. In a large prospective cohort study in 9- to 14-year-olds (N = 16 882) followed for 2 years, dieting was associated with greater weight gain and increased rates of binge eating in both boys and girls.36 Similarly, in a prospective observational study in 2516 adolescents enrolled in Project Eating Among Teens (Project EAT) followed for 5 years, dieting behaviors were associated with a twofold increased risk of becoming overweight and a 1.5-fold increased risk of binge eating at 5-year follow-up after adjusting for weight status at baseline.37 Stice et al38 showed that girls without obesity who dieted in the ninth grade were 3 times more likely to be overweight in the 12th grade compared with nondieters. These findings and others36,38,39 suggest that dieting is counterproductive to weight-management efforts. Dieting also can predispose to EDs. In a large prospective cohort study in students 14 to 15 years of age followed for 3 years, dieting was the most important predictor of a developing ED. Students who severely restricted their energy intake and skipped meals were 18 times more likely to develop an ED than those who did not diet; those who dieted at a moderate level had a fivefold increased risk.40'
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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Enn
scaredofmother, 
I know you have had a few years ( ages 11 to 13 currently  if I read your last post correctly)of this ED in your home. I hope you are getting professional help. I know your son had been violent with refeeding and you did not wish to go back to that based on your other posts. But I do recall that there was consensus here that he was likely still not WR even a few months ago. So now I wonder, that ED is not gone at all and never was gone- even though his mood was so much better but only eating one meal per day and exercising one hour every day but Sundays- I think that was ED being calm getting his way[frown]. I think you really need to fight the ED hard and that may mean a very terrible time again but it may be best in  the long run. Other than that, without pushing weight gain, I think this will happen over and over again. The longer you wait, the longer it takes. I really hope things turn around for your son and that he can grow normally and get rid of ED altogether. I don't pretend it is easy, it is the hardest thing most of  us have had to do EVER, in their lives, but it is needed to save him. 
I respect the challenges you have. I am not in your shoes at all and cannot pretend to know exactly what is going on at your home. So my heart goes out to you. I have a lot of empathy for where you are right now. 
I am being quite blunt, and I am very sorry you are here dealing with this still.  I hope your H can find the knowledge, motivation to really understand how sick your boy is and get moving together with you to treat the ED and get rid of it once and for all. 
All the best.
XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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WTadmin