I too welcome you here although I am sorry you need to be here.
"She was left to her own a few times and although I thought she was doing ok, I guess deep down I knew she wasn't having enough and over exercising. So weigh in time and she lost 1.5 kgs in four days!!! How does that even happen!!!! "
So you learn here that you need to be with her all the time. It is feedback and not failure, we all have a lot to learn. Ed is a huge steep learning curve.
She needs supervision 24/7. I want you to throw out all your feelings and information about how to parent. You need to shift your thinking and really take care of her like an infant. There is no reasoning with ED. So sorry, but that is what many of had to do for a long time if you are going to help her.
So with us, having a child that stood all the time, really all the time- we had to break that and get rid of it altogether. She would freak out going in the car, sitting at the table, restaurant etc . We had to insist she sit, no long walks no exercise, no gym at school no physical play at home. Yah we had to do that.
Others had severe exercise compulsion. These are both ED driven and have to stop, I literally mean ,STOP not decrease. So PE may be out for the foreseeable future. She can do another project that is not ED triggering or related to "healthy eating" . I pulled my D out of PE for most of the year and the school knew to contact me about ANY health projects. School is not that important, her health is the MOST Important.
Have you discussed with the school?
I am glad you have a higher calorie plan to work with now.
You also say"I'm happy to sleep in the same room as her to stop middle of the night exercise but I guess my question is what can we do when we aren't in the house with her. We are a busy active family and sometimes not always there to supervise her 24/7 so that will be a struggle that I guess we will just work through." Yes you will have to work through that and unfortunately I have to say, the whole family has to be involved in taking care of ED. Your normal routines may need to change quite a bit to take care or your ED D. You also say that you will reduce exercise again I will harp on this point, she needs to stop!
As for the dietitian, most have found that you can do this without one. Look up the high calorie meals and snack posts. I will find and post for you. Add oil, cream (heavy whipping cream) butter, cheese to every thing you can This will add more calories in a smaller "foodprint" so she may not get so upset by the volume of food to get the appropriate calories. Once you get a good routine of eating and high calories, things do get better, but so hard at first.
Torie mentioned above to try to emulate what they did in hospital. We did that. I learned the schedule for eating 3 meals and 3 snacks. I made some of the same meals ie peanut butter and jam sandwiches, so that when she came home I would say, "this is what they did in the hospital- so this is what we do at home".
Please know that your D is very ill mentally too and that you cannot reason/rationalize with her at all. You have to make the decisions, all of them. for her. She or rather ED, cannot be trusted. You need to give her her medicine and that is food, you keep her safe from exercise.
Sending you support.
food+ more food+ time + love+ good professional help + ATDT ( I will add now)+ NO exercise= healing ---->recovery(----> life without ED)