F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Colette_71 Show full post »
Colette_71
Thank you all so much for your advice.  I've been out and bought two bottles of milk, one full fat, one skimmed and am going to empty the skimmed down the sink and use the full fat.
I have also bought full fat yoghurt and cheese.
This morning she cried and told me she wants to be normal again but eating bad food makes her feel bad all day.  She said she wanted to run with her friends yesterday and couldn't and she is going to remember this when I'm making her eat.  I was thinking eating anything was better than nothing but I'm now realising she needs the fats and carbs and ive bought some hot chocolate which I think she will protest about but used to enjoy.
I took her to have bloods done but they couldn't find a vein as they said she is very dehydrated so going to take her to the hospital after school to try again after having drank all day.  I have downloaded all the guides on here and about to have a good read when I've finished work.  I was shocked at the meal plans on the forum, I had no idea how much food they should be eating!
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Torie
Colette_71 wrote:
This morning she cried and told me she wants to be normal again but eating bad food makes her feel bad all day. 

It is so hard to see them suffer, isn't it?  I imagine it is a lot like how parents of cancer patients feel when they have to require their kids to have chemotherapy and other treatments that make them feel terrible in the short term.  For our kids, food is their medicine, and we must require full doses no matter how terrible that is for them and us both.

Keep swimming. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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ValentinaGermania
Colette_71 wrote:
  I was shocked at the meal plans on the forum, I had no idea how much food they should be eating!


I can imagine that, this was a steep learning curve for me also! I first also thought it is better that she eats that 3 strawberrys than nothing until I realised that 3 strawberrys ARE nothing!
Try to get in 2000 calories a day to get started and increase it daily to about 3000 and see if she gains with that. She should gain about 500-1000 g every week (that is recommended by the professionals). Some kids do that with 3000 calories a day, some need 4000-5000 and some even up to 7000/8000. They need to eat a lot to recover and for a long time after that.

It can be needed that she must stay at home for some time x and cannot go to school and it can be needed that you will need to supervise her at home and cannot go to work. Please figure out what possibilities you will have if that is needed.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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teecee

Colette 71 please only see feedback (never criticism) on this forum...we all had steep learning curves. 

one of the mantras I had and still have when discussing food is that there’s no ‘bad’ food....all food is good and has a purpose...EVERYTHING in moderation. Bizzarely you will celebrate her having a meal from the ‘golden arches’ restaurant!! Only us parents could celebrate that! 😀  

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ValentinaGermania
Colette, I just saw on your profile that you wrote that your d is obsessed with watching food videos in the internet and especially on tiktok.
My d bingewatched food videos and cooking shows on Youtube and could not stop that any more. She later told me that she did that to not feel hungry and that it was a tip from bad internet sites (pro*n*). We stopped all internet access when we found out and she was relieved that we helped her with that as she could not stop it herself anymore. Please check what your d is doing in the internet and what persons she is in contact there. There are often competitions going on between other anorexic persons who has eaten less and who has the worst BMI.
Here they must be age 13 or more to be allowed to use tiktok so maybe that is an "excuse" to delete it...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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MartyH
One thing I found that made it easier for my D (10yo) was having a firm talk about how her father and I, along with her doctor, were going to fight anorexia and we were NOT going to lose. I did this every time she was fighting me, whether physically or emotionally, about eating or had remorse about eating. I told her that WE were making her eat and she had no choice. Even when questioning everything, you have to be firm and calm. If ED sees that you’re weak in any way it will take advantage. Your D is looking for an excuse to eat. She’s being held hostage by ED and if you can give her an excuse to take back to ED (“I have to eat because my mom won’t let me do anything else until I do.”) then it takes the blame off of her. I also tiptoed around fear foods for a few weeks before ripping off the bandaid. The problem I had was that she would say “Last time you only made me eat one bite of pasta so I won’t eat anymore.” It’s better to jump in and get it over with! Serve everything she ate before ED. No sports either until she’s in a good place! Good luck! It’s horrible, especially the first couple of months!! Keep giving it 100% and you’ll get there, and next Christmas it will all seem like a bad dream!
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ValentinaGermania
Great post, MarthyH, I would sign it if I could! 😁
That is exactly what I experienced here and with many other families.
I hope you will have a great Christmas again!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Torie
Agree - great post. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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debra18
I did not do well in trying to put things in my daughter's food. She could taste everything. Once I put tahina in and she got mad. That was the last time I did it. I feed her the foods she used to eat. And she drinks a milkshake every morning of ice cream blended with heavy cream. She used to drink a smoothie every night but I now replaced that with cake. This is the way I get in the extra calories. Whatever works. 
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