F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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MargeSimpson Show full post »
kkhrd
Marge,
My heart is breaking for you, this sounds like an extremely difficult situation, and we all know that you are doing your absolute best for your daughter.  I don't know where in the US you are, but I am also in the US and my daughter has been helped tremendously by the amazing team at Columbia Medical.  It is just over the bridge in Manhattan and if you could find your way there somehow, the services are all free of charge.  They only ask that your daughter answer some questionaires and submit to a brain study.  They actually pay you for your time, so not only are you getting free services, but you are getting paid.  They have an inpatient unit in the hospital but she needs to want to be there, which, from what you have said, is not going to be a problem.  They also have family based therapy.  Every year you are asked to repeat the study which takes only a few hours and they pay each time.  In this program you have the potential to make $700.00 over the course of a few years.  They also do all sorts of random studies that anyone who fits the criteria in your family can do to make some extra money.

I understand how expensive treating anorexia can be, please don't lose hope and come here often.  Best of luck to you.
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MargeSimpson
We are rural west coast.

There is no way we can get to New York for treatment. 

Our possibilities are going to have to revolve around what is possible for us.

Thursday she might get to go to hospital for feeding. Ive been very pushy, and treated like dirt

Yesterday the nurse said to my daughter and me that she doesnt blame me. But other people might.

Ive sought medical help. What form does this blame take, I wonder? Judgement? Kids other than her removed? Just telling me im a bad mother?

Thank you for your help.
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kkhrd
That's unfortunate, but you may want to consider looking at research hospitals in and around your area.  Although I don't know where on the west coast you are, UC San Diego has an eating disorder research program that also compensates up to $375.00 for a study and will reimburse travel and lodging expenses.  I found that in just a few key strokes, there are so many research programs with services attached in the US that are willing to pay for studies.  If you google research and eating disorders in your area you are likely to find something.  Look at college programs and hospitals in your area.
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MargeSimpson
Ive spoken to the national eating disorder assoc. They found no research programs.

The programs in the state capital are too far, but I am trying to get her a free space, and will take a greyhound up there with her if they accept her. My car wouldn't make 600 miles.

The psych clinic have given me those numbers, ill call today.
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scaredmom

Marge, 

That is good news. You are really moving on this. 

Sending strength and support your way!
XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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MargeSimpson
Yes. It cannot carry on. This disease is hurting the whole family. I need to show it the door.

She made it clear she aint eating today, so I guess there's no other options.

Thursday might well mean hospitalization for her heart. From there ill plain refuse to take her home. 
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tina72
"From there ill plain refuse to take her home."

Try to do that. Ask the doctors if they will carry the consequences if something happens at home. Tell them that you live in a country region and that it takes you 45 minutes to go to the hospital and that she can be dead in that time if her heart stopps.
I hope you get help today. Please let us know what they said.

"What form does this blame take, I wonder? Judgement? Kids other than her removed? Just telling me im a bad mother?"

Mostly all that what you said. But I know only one case where they took the ED kid out of the family. And: that is no scientific behaviour and no evidence in all that. It is just old fashioned ideas about that disease and would show that the team is not up to date with science on that disease. They know for about 30 years now that it has nothing to do with your education, with your parenting, with your family. But some people still say such things. If that happens, try not to let it get to your heart and simply tell them that their information about that disease is from the 1960s and that they should have an update about this.


Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Mamaroo

She made it clear she aint eating today, so I guess there's no other options.


This is just ED talking, my d would say the same thing to me. Just keep on presenting the meals and snacks with the expectation it is going to be eaten.

If she's going into hospital, take the time to recharge your batteries away from ED. We all need a break. 

You're doing a hero's job taking care of your family!

Sending you lots of hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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Mamaroo
Hi Marge,

Thinking about you and your d. I hope things are going better. We are here if you need any advice or if you just need to vent, we will understand!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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kkhrd
Marge, I do hope that things have improved with your D.  Please give us an update, and know that we are here to listen if you need to vent!
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