F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

Heron Show full post »
Foodsupport_AUS
It sounds like you may be doing Family Systems Therapy and not Family Based Treatment  This may be part of the problem. They are not supporting you to treat her eating disorder, they are treating you as part of the problem. Getting some clarity on this is vital, treatment plan, what are they expecting? It may be time to ask for alternate treatment. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote
ValentinaGermania
It sounds like you may be doing Family Systems Therapy and not Family Based Treatment  This may be part of the problem. They are not supporting you to treat her eating disorder, they are treating you as part of the problem. Getting some clarity on this is vital, treatment plan, what are they expecting? It may be time to ask for alternate treatment. 


If that is the case, change that asap. It is completely outdated to see the parents as part of the problem and to search for underlying issues. It is common scientific sense now in 2019 that parents are part of the solution and can help their kids to recover (not in Germany but in the "educated" countries).
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Heron
Hi Foodsupport Aus and tina72,

Thankyou for posts

So things are continuing to go badly - wt going down approx 4kg in past 5 wks - still no IP bed despite frequent requests. Managed to get bp - drop of 13
I have said I am not happy. Requested second opinion / other options.

what is family systems therapy?
Quote
Enn
If you click on the links you will get the information.
hope that helps.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Enn
In brief, family systems therapy looks at how the family functions and how best to change to help the child (Ie the family is the pathological entity contributing to the child's distress/problems). That is not what you need for ED. You need family based therapy so the parents are not part of the problem they are part of the treatment. They are to be the main care givers to help their child get better. They are not the cause of Ed and the parents are not part of the issues as in family system therapy.
I hope that makes sense.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Heron
Hi Scaredmom,

Thanks for this, it makes sense - focus has certainly been the relationship.
Meanwhile weight keeps going down - still no IP, getting desperate.
D restricting away, only eating pre packed food - confidence in my ability in my boots - when I tried to change it, lock pulled off food door..
Quote
Enn

OK now can you get a proper ED clinic and do FBT family based treatment/therapy?  You are in the UK they do have proper (NICE guidelines) in what they need to do for you and where to go.
You need to be firm that they need to FBT with you and if they cannot they need to refer you ASAP so that you can do that. 
They should be empowering YOU to take care of her.
Let us know how we can help?
melstevUK is a good resource and you may email her if you wish. Just click on her name in the member's search. I know she is very knowledgeable about the system in the UK.
I don't think she would mind.

XXX

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Heron
Thanks Scaredmom,

I've requested a second opinion / transfer - I feel less empowered than I ever have and I'm totally supporting this illness.
Nice guidelines yes - guessing some are better than others.
Quote
Enn
Big hug, thinking of you  and sending power pack of strength.
Please take care of yourself too.

Here you go. 
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng69
Hope this helps.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
ValentinaGermania
Heron wrote:
Hi Scaredmom,

Thanks for this, it makes sense - focus has certainly been the relationship.
Meanwhile weight keeps going down - still no IP, getting desperate.
D restricting away, only eating pre packed food - confidence in my ability in my boots - when I tried to change it, lock pulled off food door..


That is totally wrong and I agree with scaredmom that you should stand up on their feet until they change that. You need FBT and a specialised ED treatment. This is lost time.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Heron
Thanks scaredmom,
thats really useful

xx
Quote
Heron
Thanks tina72,
all help really appreciated
Quote

        

WTadmin