F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Tica
I suppose I’m looking for some reassurance during a very worrying time, my d has stayed the same height for nearly a year (she’ll be 15 next month). She started restricting when she turned 14, was diagnosed AN last Summer, refed during Autumn but has relapsed since Xmas. I now feel like we are starting all over again. Would love to hear that she will start growing in height and ‘catch up’ once she regains weight and keeps it on??
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scaredmom
Hi Tica,
I welcome you formally to the club. 
EDs are so hard aren’t they?
A couple of things that would be good to know. Has she had her periods? Before or after ED or WR? 
Was she properly WR? At puberty height can vary significantly from prepubertal percentiles. 
What do you mean she may  be relapsed? If you care to share with us what is going on right now we can try our best to come up with ideas. This group has the biggest heart and wants to help. It is a safe place, truly.
please ask all the questions you have. 
XXX
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Ronson
Hi

My d hasn’t grown a lot - but she had done most of her growing before she started restricting.  So now we just have small growth.  Does your d have a lot of growing to do ? At 15 many people are very almost at full height. 

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Ocras68
Hi Tica, my daughter will also be 15 next month and was also diagnosed in the summer and refed during the autumn.  But I’m still re-feeding her, preparing and plating all her food, and only giving her very limited choices, and relapse is therefore sort of impossible for her at the moment.  Perhaps you were pushed into phase 2 much too early, prompting relapse?  Once you get the refeeding consistently going again, and your daughter has steady and consistent weight gain, I’m sure she will grow in height.  Like you, I was terrified my d had “missed the slot”, but her period started a few weeks ago and hey presto we discovered she had grown an inch in height as well.  Of course, that means even more food to keep up with the height gain.
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Tica
Thank you for your reply Ocra68. Wonderful to hear about your success-you must be relieved. My d, has not engaged with CAHMS and they said they can’t help her unless she engages. As she was doing well with gaining weight in the Autumn they suggested we loosen the reins and then it has all started to unravel. We will have to rebuild back to where we were, but it is proving to be difficult to go back to refeeding now that AN has been allowed to take more control again. Last night saw a terrible seen at supper as a result. Your news has made me resolved that it’s the only way though. 
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Tica
Sorry just scrolled up and saw other two replies so thank you to Mimi321, scaredmom and Ronson. To answer your questions my d had one period just after she turned 14, before she lost most of her weight. She had just reached a healthy BMI and percentile before Xmas, when we were starting phase 2 on advice of CAMHS. Unfortunately our reaction time to her falling weight since then has been slow mainly due to her insistence not to interfere. 
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tina72
Tica wrote:
Thank you for your reply Ocra68. Wonderful to hear about your success-you must be relieved. My d, has not engaged with CAHMS and they said they can’t help her unless she engages. As she was doing well with gaining weight in the Autumn they suggested we loosen the reins and then it has all started to unravel. We will have to rebuild back to where we were, but it is proving to be difficult to go back to refeeding now that AN has been allowed to take more control again. Last night saw a terrible seen at supper as a result. Your news has made me resolved that it’s the only way though. 


Hi Tica and a very warm welcome from Germany! Sorry that you have to join us here.
It is completely nonsens that Cahms says she needs to engage so they can help her, that is old fashioned treatment from 30 years ago.
What you experenced with loosen the reins and then relapse is a really common mistake and cahms should have known that. Many of us started phase 2 too early (my hands up) and it is hard to get back to phase 1 but needed.

To answer your question, when your ds body is fully nurished and at a good weight she will grow and develop a female body. If not she will not. My d delayed most of puberty because of AN, is 19 now and still has the body of a 13 year old and is now sad about that.
She did not grow within 4 years before ED moved in but then grew 1,5 cm at age 18 during refeeding.

Get back on track, plate all food again, work on fear food and get her brain fully nurished and then when all ED behaviour is gone then think again about very slowly loosen the reins!
Come here with all your questions, we are here to help!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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scaredmom
You mentioned she got to a healthy BMI. 
The target weights the professionals usually set can be too low for your child. The fact that only one period and none since makes me concerned about that.
I know your concern is about her height but I feel she is still not properly WR. That may help with her height  and really the goal is good health and not just her height at this time, I would think. 

Is she eating well to gain now? That would be my first priority. Also many have been pushed into stage 2 too early without a proper stabilization plan. This takes a few years don’t rush it.  I know it’s hard and it does get better.
XXX
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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tina72
I forgot to ask, did you have a dexa scan for bone density? Although she might not have restricted for long AN patients have a high risk to develop osteoporosis. So bones should be checked and vitamin D level as well as calcium level in blood.
No good nurished bones no growth.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ocras68
It’s infuriating that CAMHS said such a stupid thing about not being able to help your daughter unless she engages.  They should know that AN is anosognosic - your daughter is unable to see she has an illness.  And they allowed control back to your daughter far too soon in my opinion.

You know what has to be done.  Take back all control.  You are in charge, not the ED, not your daughter, and may I suggest not CAMHS in this case.  Just say to your daughter it was a little too soon, and go back to preparing and plating all meals all snacks on a regular routine.  

To be fair, my daughter’s CAMHS clinic is great, and they say that my d must have at least three regular periods in a row and have a good “buffer” of weight before she can be considered “weight restored” and then she will grow in height and stature so must continue to gain weight proportionally to that.  Your d’s therapist does need to be on the same page as you, otherwise you’ll be undermined again at every appointment, so have a private word with them and explain your concerns, maybe using the Kartini clinic article that mimi321 posted for you.

You refed once so you can do it again, although it’s so hard.  High calories and lots of fats, and growth will come.  Good luck.  
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Tica
That makes lots of sense - the advice about three periods in a row and a buffer before considered WR and only thereafter entering stage 2. I will hold onto that, thank you for sharing it. Only wish I’d been told this clearly before! 
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tina72
Tica wrote:
Only wish I’d been told this clearly before! 

We could print T-shirts with this sentence for all of us!

Therefor better get informed at least on the same page than the "professionals" or better two steps ahead of them. I learned much more here than from any professional on our way.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ocras68
I have never met a young lady who stopped growing at age 12.  At that rate every A-level age female student would still be only 5ft on average.  And they’re not.
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tina72
My d did not grow from 13 to 17 and then grew again during refeeding at age 18. No rules for that, it is very indivuídual.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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