F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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P123_lakeo Show full post »
debra18 I am the parent of a RAN girl. I had RAN when I was in my teens. I am now 55 and back then I have no idea how I got over it as I was working and didn't have a mother to look after me. It's a long distant memory. I do think there is a predisposition in regards to genes and also environment. There is no 'cure' for AN - it's a lifestyle choice - the choice to live and enjoy by eating what you need (and also enjoy!) to be able to do the things you want in life. My d is currently doing really well and has chosen life over not living. It's taken a long time but she is in a good place usually mentally, not recovered yet but doing well. Genetics are our make up and I do believe there is a definitely a genetic aspect to this ilness. Research into this aspect will only help us to understand more of the illness.
i find your comment of “it’s a lifestyle choice” upsetting 
my d spent 3 months with a tube shoved up her nose 
this was NOT a choice, if she didn’t agree to this she would not be much better where she is now after her 2nd IP admittance
if she didn’t have the NG tube for 8 weeks on her 1st admittance she would be dead!
simple as that 
i have a feeling there is a spectrum with this disorder much like Autism perhaps? (and maybe I’m wrong) but if you have no idea how you got better,  but you did I can only assume your case wasn’t as severe as my d and many others that do unfortunately need a higher level of care
my d is now home, she eats, she also still cries, self harms, can be disregulated emotionally and some nights the ED/AN thoughts beat her up so badly and she becomes very frustrated with herself  (hitting herself in the head) and asks me why can’t she have a normal brain she hates how this is effecting her life 
she tries very very hard EVERYDAY!!! 
To eat and be “normal”
i know my d and she does NOT choose this!
sorry if I have taken your post the wrong way but I just wanted to say how I feel
this kind of comment does nothing for the stigma of this illness
some of my d’s friends simply think she chooses AN, no one would in their right mind choose this illness!!!
for goodness sakes my own mother made that comment, funny how not once she has sat with me whilst we were in the refeeding process or witnessing her distress after a SH episode 🙁
please clarify if I have in fact taken this the wrong way
I should also add that the unfortunate choice my d made that has sent her down this horrible journey was that she was so “health conscious” at the time, because she was a dancer and wanted a strong “healthy” body and she started to watch her “diet” by not eating junk foods/take aways which I believe caused the energy deficit that “flicked the switch” of AN so to speak 

at the time had I realised the danger of her CHOOSING to be healthy may of nearly cost her her life of course we would of intervened,  we were thinking she’s doing a great job looking after herself, it’s all shoved down our necks to be healthy and exersize (she also isn’t a drinker or party girl either) unlike a lot of her peers at the time 

so sadly for my d making the “healthy choice” near on took her life literally 
as well has actually taken a few years of the very tricky adolescent years of her life ie:study/working/friends/social life

hope this makes it a little clearer as to why the “choice” comment is upsetting 
yes she did choose “healthy” she didn’t choose AN
Apologies All, It was certainly not my intention to imply that any of our children 'chose' to get an ED!