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toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #1 
Hi,
To all here that celebrated Mothers day today, I really hope that you all had a pleasant day.

I want to tell everybody here in the trenches that recovery is possible.My Son was very ill age 13 with purge type anorexia, he is 16.5 now doing just great.

I got a lovely card from him this morning with " Thank you for all you do for me " written on it from him. Together with a bunch of flowers and beautiful " Lily O'Briens "chocolate crispy hearts, yum.  We will be sharing them after dinner tonight!

Just a few points I would like to mention.
- We had to go way above his target weight to get him into any sort of recovery. His target was BMI 19, he would never have recovered at that BMI.
We had to get rid of the dietitian that was keeping my son from recovery by insisting this was his target. We took over and got him to BMI 24 and the behaviours started to literally melt away...and he started to recover and brain healing was happening.

- He needed huge support and supervision for the first year and a half, after that he still needed a lot of support and eyes on, but it was really quite manageable. Now he is actually discharged from all treatment. His mental state is great, he is fully functional and very happy. We still do 3 meals and 2 snacks. We still eat as many meals with him as possible. I still cook and plate meals. 

- He has needed upwards of 4000 cals every single day to stay in recovery. We have never reduced this amount, he needs this and more every single day.

- Although during re-feeding he absolutely hated me, I thought that I may have to lose my relationship with him in order to save his life. Well like so many others have reported, when he got into recovery he came out of the fog. We got our relationship back on track, and both of us are crazy about each other. A few months ago he told his T before he was discharged " I knew my Mother had my back".

- The last thing I want  to mention here is that the information that I got from parents here is mostly what  got my kid into recovery.  I was told by some very wise parents at the start of my journey to ..
" Clear my diary and this is TOP priority over everything, just like a cancer diagnosis"
and " Pull up my Big Girls Pants , and keep going and push through."
This was great advice for me and that's why my kid is happily eating pizza and fries right now..
Best Wishes...

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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #2 
Toothfairy,
What a lovely post! Your support gave me so much strength to help me help my D. Your videos and your experience pushed me to do what I needed to do and still what I need to do in this recovery phase. What a wonderful thing your son did. He knew you had his back the whole time, even when his behaviour at the beginning did not show that. It helps all of us to hear that through persevering, and feeding, our relationships with our ED kids DO come back and are lovelier than ever! 
Happy Mother's day!!
xxx
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you  so much scaredmom!  You have done an amazing job in a really tough situation. So happy for you guys too!
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yellowcaty

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hi

Thanks toothfairy, it is so heartwarming to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. This is our first Mother's Day since the diagnosis, although with hindsite we were probably in the same position last year. Here's hoping that next year will be better.
Yellowcaty
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #5 
Hi Yellowcaty, 
Thanks a million!
Keep going, I hope so too for you all.
TF

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hopenz

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Reply with quote  #6 
Happy Mothers' Day to you too, Toothfairy.  And THANKYOU for this uplifting post.  It's wonderful to hear that your son is doing so well, and that you have your loving relationship with him back!  You have been one of the angels on this forum who have helped me cling to hope and sanity during the dark days, and inspired me to keep going as we've emerged into brighter times.  I hope you'll stick around and keep sharing your wisdom, humour and resources.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thanks so much hopenz,
I am so glad to read you have emerged into brighter times! Wonderful news, keep going!
TF

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kazi67

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Reply with quote  #8 
Happy Mothers Day to you tooth fairy
I hope you have the most lovely day!
Thank you SO much for all your support!!
My d doing well few blimps but we are getting there :)
x
tammy

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Reply with quote  #9 
Happy Mother's Day. This is a great uplifting post Toothfairy. Thanks for all the useful advice you post. X
tina72

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Reply with quote  #10 
Thanks for that wonderful post, Toothfairy, it saved my life today as I had some discussions with unreasonable grandparents today (FIL has a rip broken and wants to work in the garden and MIL has a pyelonephritis and is not listening to my advice - grrrrrr).
So to hear of your sons card for you was soooo nice although we don´t have mothers day today (in Germany that is in May).
Thanks again,
Tina72
lmd24

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Reply with quote  #11 
This is such an uplifting post, Toothfairy! All the sacrifices you’ve made are worth it to help your precious son out of such a dark place! Great work! Thanks also for all the links you provide to help the rest of us! Happy Mother’s Day!
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #12 
Hi kazi67,
Thanks so much, we had a great day.
I am delighted you are doing well with your D.
Blips are to be expected, we had many, its all part of the process. 
Best Wishes,
TF

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toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #13 
Hi Tammy, 
Thanks a million, I am so glad my posts have helped you.
Best wishes
TF

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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #14 
Hi Tina,
Thank you so much,
I am so happy you are also making great progress.
Thanks for all you do on the forum!!
Best Wishes,
TF

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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #15 
Hi lmd24,
Thanks for your kind words,
I am so glad you find the links useful.
I hope things are improving for you,
Best wishes,
TF

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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
deenl

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Reply with quote  #16 
What a wonderful summary, toothfairy. May I just say how impressed I am with your own growth in strength and confidence since the beginning of your journey. And thank you for all your advocacy and paying it forward now that you have time and energy to breath again.

Onwards and upwards, girl.

Warm wishes,

D

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2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #17 
Hi Deenl,
Great  to hear from you!
Thank you so much!
I often think of you and your boys, it is amazing what you have done. 
I hope he is still doing so well. You saved your son's life.
Thank you for all you do here too!

Onwards and upwards to you girl!!

x TF


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Food is the medicine. Recovery is possible.
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