F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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My 13D was diagnosed with RAN in November 2018. She was in 8th grade and had lost 20 pounds in 4 months when we realized exactly what we were facing. She had gone from 118 lbs to 98. We were able to get her up to 109 pounds in a few months with general therapy (not specifically FBT) and a nutritionist and then...we were stuck for about 9 months. She was still underweight and the AN thoughts and behaviors were still very much there. 

Thanks to this group, I learned about the research program at Columbia hospital in NYC and the FBT therapy that they provided in exchange for participation in their research study. My daughter qualified and we were assigned an FBT therapist who literally put us on track for my daughter’s recovery. Providing us with FBT, she empowered us to tackle the AN:  we planned all meals, every meal and snack was supervised (Even school lunch that now in high school, my daughter eats with me in the car every day) and we closed all the loop holes that AN likes to use to hide and manipulate.  It was a 3 month battle and we confronted it head on.

We started at Columbia in November 2019 when my daughter was 109 lbs. Today we had a family meeting and were overjoyed to learn that she is weight restored at 127 pounds in 3 months. We are moving very slowly and with vigilance to phase 2. 

I wanted to share my story and say that this forum helped me every day to know that I was not alone, to help me cope and have a support network of wonderful and brave caregivers from around the world that I  so grateful for. I spend about 18 months just looking at this forum and never posting until tonight to say Thank you. That you all gave me the courage to know that I can fight this for my daughter and that recovery is possible. I was in the trenches for months and like many of you, was so beaten down and exhausted and saw no end in sight. But...it can get better and it will get better. For us, I know FBT saved our daughter.  

I’m so emotional and grateful tonight. please...keep going, day by day. Bite by bite. Meal by meal. You can do this. 

@NJMom1 yay! Woo hoo!! We are slowly moving to phase 2 here as well and this forum saved me and my D too ❤
NJMom1 what great news! Cheering you on! My d. was also treated at Columbia also and I also thought they were amazing

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your journey.  I'm so pleased to hear how well your d is doing!  I hope you will drop in from time to time with an update.  Please feel free to ask any questions you might have. xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Yeah, such a great post and good news!!! Thanks for sharing! And another good example why it is so important to fight AN till the very end and to not be content with 80% recovery and why they need to get back to their former weight.

Good job done there! Please keep us updated about your further story and the transition to phase 2!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hi NJmom1

What a lovely post. Thank you so much for sharing your good news.

Hang in there for the remaining phases. You are doing great.

Warm wishes,

2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
I am so glad you posted! I am very happy your d was able to get the help she needed from the Columbia program. I have heard it is a really great program. Thanks for the endorsement. If you wish, you may post your review in the Review category for others to read. I am sure your experience could be very helpful to someone else. 

Way to go! `Keep posting! 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Thank you for posting this, it is fantastic news and I hope your daughter continues on to make a full recovery xx